New heart, dear heart
by insipidity
Summary: Always spoilers to the latest episode. Starts with recaps of Gwaine and Merlin's canon time together. Later, some other stuff comes up. Includes other characters like A, L, P and briefly E and Gwe.
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: manlove. If it bugs you, you probably don't want to read this. Unless you're highly tolerant, like I am with dairy. Okay, that was odd..

Disclaimer: All rights belong to *google "merlin tv series" to see to

whom*. I'm just having fun.

I'd like to get back to S/P too but I don't have a lot of time and this seemed like the simplest way to ease pressure. I only recently started watching Merlin, but I have to say I love Gwaine. And Merlin.

Also, KC has been in an accident so now she's not in some episodes and it's weird. Get better soon.

Summary: Recap of Gwaine-episodes and what went on in people's,

especially Gwaine and Merlin's, heads during them. Obviously there's going to be added scenes, but in the beginning it's mostly just what you already saw. In chapter two we actually get into it. So essentially the first chapter is what happened in the episode, and in the second chapter we go into the mystical land of Avalon or AU, if you will :)

New heart, dear heart

**(Gwaine 3x04)**

**Chapter 1**

He probably wouldn't have even noticed the young man if there hadn't been that fight. In retrospect, he was eternally grateful that the brawl had taken place. Otherwise, they might not have met, or worse, met under less than favorable circumstances (as in him being brought in front of the king charged with some minor offense, which might have earned him a quick execution, considering that Uther wasn't exactly known as the kindest man in all of Camelot).

To get back to the present and not to get ahead of ourselves, he, Gwaine, had spent a relatively quiet night so far (for him, at least). He'd drunk some but nowhere near enough for it to have affected him much. He was just about to leave the tavern to find some better amusement, when he heard the man come in and ask the maid, Mary, for safemoney. The man handled her roughly, and Gwaine wasn't going to stand for that. His mother had taught him that women ought to be treated with respect. He was just about to go teach the blackmailer a lesson, only to realise that a man with blond hair had beaten him to it.

"Take your hands off her." The blond man spoke in a manner which indicated that he was used to giving orders, but that he was also ready to back his words up with force, if necessary. The blackmailer took a swing at the man, and the blond man ducked, proving that speed was also something he possessed.

"I'm going to make you pay for that", the blackmailer uttered, smiling, as he figured he had the advantage.

"I'd like to see you try", snickered a third voice. The blackmailer, the blond-haired man and Gwaine all turned to look at the source of it, a very young man with raven hair. Gwaine cocked his head to the side: the boy seemed interesting. He didn't have too much time to revel in this thought, however, as the blackmailer called his friends for help with a whistle. The raven-haired man, now alarmed and definitely not smirking anymore, instinctively sought the blond man's proximity. It wasn't too hard to guess that they knew each other, and also that the blond man was clearly the one who usually dealt with matters such as this.

"You had to open your big mouth, didn't you Merlin?" The blond man tried to sound annoyed, but he was clearly already so used to situations like this that he couldn't be bothered anymore.

Gwaine stood up. He was getting a strange energy from the young man, now identified as Merlin, and to find out more about it, he'd have to keep the man alive. "You two have got yourselves a bit of a pickle..haven't you?" He said and advanced next to them. "You should get out of here when you have the chance", the blond man told him firmly. Merlin looked at him sternly. "You're probably right", Gwaine replied, finished his drink and landed the first punch.

When the fighting started, it's pretty direct from there on out. Everybody fights until they can't fight any longer. Gwaine, being used to these kinds of fights where you never knew if the opponent had a stashed dagger or three in his pocket, evaluated whether the two men needed his assistance. The blond man was clearly holding his on, he clearly had skill and technique to spare. He could look after himself. Merlin wasn't doing too bad either, though his technique was more "no technique, just hit when you can". Surprisingly though, he wasn't entirely underhanded and Gwaine wondered how that could be. Then he saw a bench fly in the air, smashing against two men. He glanced swiftly (while he thought all of this, he was fighting three men, so window-gazing wasn't entirely recommended) to see who had thrown the bench. The blond man was in a different direction, and Merlin had been right next to the men, and he probably didn't have the strength to throw such an object at the drop of a hat. The bench seemed to have come from nowhere. Strange.

He finally got rid of the men he was fighting, and as he saw Merlin make his way behind the counter, he rushed towards him. He asked him to pass him the jar for him, as he wanted to surprise him. He took a drink and took a swing at a man who tried to attack him from behind. He turned back to Merlin. "What do they call you then?" he asked the boy, even though he already knew. Hey, it was polite. The younger man stiffly replied: "Merlin". Gwaine offered him his hand. "Gwaine. Pleasure to meet you." He saw Merlin's expression turn to a grimace, and he swung around to break the jar to another attacker's head. "Such a waste, huh?" He flashed the younger man his brightest grin and returned to the battle, leaving Merlin gaping after him.

The fight was nearing its end. There weren't many fighters left, but he saw a flash of a dagger and saw the blackmailer threaten the blond man, who was now on the ground. It probably wasn't his brightest idea ever, but he charged the blackmailer nonetheless. He was able to subdue him, but he saw and felt that the dagger had ended up in his leg. He tried to get up, but he lost consciousness and fell. His last thought as he succumbed to darkness was "maybe that was worth dying for."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After Gaius had bandaged Gwaine's leg, it was up to Merlin to look after him. He had taken it upon himself, really. His excuse was that the man had saved his master's life, and therefore it was his duty to make sure the man would live. The real reason, however, was that he wanted to see the man and figure him out a bit. He had stepped in and helped him and Arthur even though he had had no reason to do so. He hadn't even known that Arthur was the crown prince. It hadn't seemed to Merlin that he enjoyed fighting just for the sake of fighting either: even though he had laughed for the better part of the brawl, it seemed it was more for their benefit. _What am I thinking_, Merlin interrupted his thoughts, _that's some deep-level analysing for a brief chance-encounter with a man in some tavern_. He sighed. He dampened a piece of cloth with water and lifted it to the man's brow to brush it gently. "Who are you, Gwaine?"

Next morning Merlin woke up drowsy. Since Gwaine occupied his bed for the moment, he had slept on the examination bench, which was not all that comfortable. Still, it was a lot better than what he had had growing up. Interesting how quickly one can become accustomed to good things. He threw together something for breakfast, but before eating it, he decided to go check how the patient was doing, maybe he was already awake and hungry.

Merlin sat next to him on the bed. Gwaine had stopped fidgeting around and slept soundly. During the night he had lost his shirt, Gaius hadn't taken it and Merlin certainly hadn't either, so that was something Merlin was quite curious about. Gwaine was in good shape. _Very_. Before he could stop himself, Merlin's left hand found its way on Gwaine's chest. His hand rose as the man breathed in. Merlin smiled and tried moving his hand, but the other man stirred and Merlin jumped. He rushed as quietly as possible out of the room. He grabbed the plate with breakfast on it and returned to the room as if for the first time that morning. Gwaine had nearly gotten up, and without a shirt, he seemed, for all intents and purposes, naked. Merlin tried to stop himself from blushing.

"What am I doing in this bed?" Gwaine demanded to know. Merlin couldn't quite figure out if the man remembered last night. Then he remembered that Gwaine had been down for the count for the most part of their journey back to the castle. "You were wounded. Arthur wanted to make sure you were treated by his physician." "Arthur?" "Prince Arthur, you saved his life."

Gwaine tried to put the pieces of last night and of right now together. So the blond man had been Arthur, prince of Camelot? That is some bad luck if Gwaine had ever encountered it, and he had. On the other hand, he was now talking with the man he had originally wanted to talk to, so things could only get better. Based on the conversation he was now engaged in, Merlin was quite taken with Arthur and his father, but also wanted Gwaine to join them. Gwaine had a hard time believing that Uther would actually give him a reward, nor did he want one. Finally, Merlin asked him the question the boy had clearly wanted to ask from the beginning.

"Why did you help us?"

Gwaine laid down again, crossed his arms behind his head and replied in a voice that indicated he was quite pleased with himself. Merlin grinned, clearly confused with him. "Come on then. Eat up, and after that I'll change your bandages."

Gwaine motioned the other man to dig in as well. Merlin happily agreed. As they ate, Gwaine eyed Merlin. "So this Arthur. What's he to you?" He tried to wink to the boy to indicate he was asking something indirectly, but the boy didn't notice and simply answered. "I am his manservant. I also consider him a friend, though he usually doesn't act like one", he grinned jokingly.

"Sure, that's the official answer. But what I meant to ask you is, is he your lover?"

Merlin choked on his bread. Gwaine smacked him on the back the help him. Once Merlin wasn't in immediate danger of choking anymore, Gwaine gave the boy some water. Merlin took some deep breaths and then exclaimed: "What an earth kind of question is that? I could've died!"

"Just curious, 's all."

"No, no, no, no we're not like that at _all_. Arthur is in love with Gwe-!" Merlin was about to shout before he remembered that the romance between Arthur and Gwen was supposed to be a secret. "Well, anyway, he's taken. He is in love with a very lovely girl. Better than him, anyway", he added with a grin. "Ah. I'm used to joking about it with Arthur, but if you already don't like him just because he's royalty.."

"Actually if you're able to joke like that with him, I might give him a chance after all. No promises, though."

Merlin flashed him a wide grin. Just as quickly it was replaced with a sudden look of worry. "Why did you expect me and him to be together? Is there a rumor that's going around?" If there was, Arthur would have to do something about it. Rumors like that could weaken other kingdoms' faith in Camelot.

Gwaine, however, laughed and tapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. "No, nothing like that. I was just checking if you were available for myself, that's all." He smiled mock-seductively to Merlin, who laughed in return. "You have a weird sense of humor."

After they were finished eating, Merlin took the plate and returned with bandages. He told Gwaine to lie still. He removed the blanket over the man, only to discover that even though he had lost his shirt, he'd kept his pants on. "I, you. Eh." He tried to make sense out of his words. "I need you to take your pants off." A crimson blush was creeping to his face. _What's the matter with me? I've seen naked people before! _Especially men, as Arthur's knights often needed bandaging and Merlin was there to do the dirty work while Gaius made the tonics and such things.

Gwaine saw that the younger man was uncomfortable. As if sensing what Merlin was thinking, he said teasingly: "What's the matter? Never seen a man naked before?"

"Nothing, just..take your pants off now. So I can treat you." Merlin further embarrassed himself by adding the last part. Why else would he take his pants off?

Gwaine briefly considered maintaining eye-contact with the younger man while he undressed himself to further tease the boy, but he figured that enough was enough. He threw his pants to the floor and laid down on the bed obediently. Merlin sat down next to him and started examining the wound. "It's healing quite nicely. I think I will change the bandage now, but you won't need another one. You can throw it away tonight." Once Merlin had gotten to the actual doctoring part, he was quite professional. He smiled and was about to get up when, to his surprise, Gwaine grabbed his hand and held it to his chest. "Thank you." Merlin smile back unsurely and nodded. "No worries."

They heard someone calling for Gaius. It was Gwen. Merlin told Gwaine to stay put as he went to see what was up. Gwaine peeked through a crack on the door. 'Gwen' appeared to be a beautiful brunette. She and Merlin talked for a while, mostly of Arthur. Before, Merlin had said that Arthur was in love with Gwe-something. Perhaps it was this Gwen. She certainly looked the part. Apparently there was more going on in the kingdom of Camelot than Gwaine had previously suspected.

Later, Gwaine got dressed and walked around town. Despite his resentment for Uther and nobility, he had to admit that Camelot was all he had imagined it to be, and more. His father had been a knight, and half of him desired to become one as well. The other half on the contrary knew that knighthood in the realm of Uther wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Merlin seemed to have great faith that Arthur would change that.

He happened to see Gwen, and teased her about her being a princess. If she were to marry Arthur, that's exactly what she'd become. Maybe a queen, when Uther would finally kick the bucket. She also rejected his advances, which he took as a good sign.

Speaking of signs, he saw a sign for a tavern. _I think I better stop by, if for nothing else then to check the quality of local mead.._

Couple of hours later, Merlin came to his rescue and walked him back to his chamber. He rambled on about his parents and nobles and knights. He was pretty smashed up. His thoughts cleared when Merlin confessed that his father had also passed away, or rather, been killed in action. For Uther, nonetheless. He didn't understand how Merlin didn't see that no good could come of serving the court. Merlin kept on saying that Arthur is different and Arthur is going to change the kingdom.

"I don't believe you. I want to, but I don't."

"Perhaps one day you will", Merlin smiled and patted him affectionately on the head. Gwaine stared at him in the eyes a little too long for it to be comfortable for the younger man. He got up abruptly, grunted and bid him goodnight, nearly running through the door.

"Goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After his father died, Gwaine had tried to avoid nobility like the plague, and yet, there he was, in front of the king of Camelot, the man responsible for his mother's distress and more than likely for his father's death. In exchange for doing the right thing, Uther banished him from Camelot. No good deed goes unpunished..

His farewell to Merlin was short and simple. No use prolonging the inevitable. He figured he'd never see the raven-haired man again, which was a shame, but he was used to taking care of himself. He'd get by just as he'd done so far. Still, the regret in Merlin's eyes was real, and he appreciated it. "Just tell me one thing. Why do you stick by Arthur? Don't tell me he treats you well, because he doesn't."

Merlin smiled, looking a bit defeated. "I guess you could say it's my destiny to protect him." "Destiny? Soulmates and fairies, like that?"

"Our destinies are bound together, but he's hardly my soulmate", Merlin smirked. "Don't tell anyone I said these things. I only said it because you're leaving."

"Who'd believe me?"

Merlin shrugged. "Okay then." His gaze drifted back to face that of Gwaine's. "I hope to see you someday. At the latest when Arthur is king."

"Can't make that promise, who knows where I'll be tomorrow, let alone in many years' time?"

He winked at the younger man as he finally left. _I've always been fine on my own._

Some blocks later, he turned to look back to the palace he'd just left. "Who am I kidding?"

Some time later at the Melee, he had some luck as a new servant was looking for his master, and didn't know what his new master was supposed to look like, and one can guess the rest. He arrived just in the nick of time, as Arthur wasn't going to hold his own for too much longer with the two magically masked men attacking him.

Merlin's heart nearly jumped with joy when he recognized Gwaine's signature fighting style. _He didn't leave after all_, he thought with surprising glee. He caught himself. _Who are you Gwaine, and why do you make me feel everything at same time?_

After the fight and Arthur's unsuccessful plead to the king, it was time for Gwaine to say goodbye, and for real this time. Merlin tried to convince him to stay but he didn't say what he really wanted to say, but instead used Arthur as a scapegoat. Stay for Arthur, you fight well with him and so forth. He could've just said 'I think you're a good friend, stay for me', but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"You fight your case well, my friend. It is difficult to turn you down. Alas, I must take my leave. Perhaps one day we'll meet again." Gwaine tapped him on the shoulder and left. Merlin watched him go from the window. _'Til a later time then._

End of Gwaine 3x4

The Eye of the Phoenix 3x8

Merlin should've been used to Arthur riding to his doom by now, but usually he could be at his side when the peril awaited the prince so he could protect him. Now that the stubborn-old prat had specifically forbidden him to come with him, he had to find someone else to help him. He knew just the man who could help, the question was whether he'd be able to find him. After going through exactly 33 taverns and one that turned out to be a brothel, he found Gwaine, plastered on a table. "Hello Gwaine", he flashed his signature grin. Gwaine looked up to greet his gaze. "Ah! Merlin!" he replied, as if he wasn't surprised at all. That's how it was with him, Merlin thought to himself, smiling despite his best efforts not to.

The escape that followed was also something to be expected of Gwaine by now. For a knight's son, he could be a little irresponsible, and he had gotten Merlin into trouble more than once. _Still, I could never say I'm bored when you're around_. Merlin observed his companion as they rode towards the Perilous lands. Gwaine was a handsome man, fit and a skilled sword-fighter. _If he was different, he could be a knight right now, with several titles and for a wife he'd have his pick, as noblemen do. Maybe he already has a wife? Nuh. With his lifestyle...No. Well, I suppose it doesn't have to be a _happy_ marriage.._

"Is there something wrong?" Gwaine interrupted his thoughts.

"No, absolutely nothing. Why, why do you ask?"

"Because you have been staring at my face for the better part of an hour now."

Merlin nearly fell off the horse. "I have not!"

"Um, yeah you have. So spit it out."

Merlin sighed and let his shoulders slunk. "I was just wondering why you continue to live like this when you could have things so much better for you. You could be married and be a knight and so on. So why not? Unless of course, you already are married, in which case.."

"I'm not married. What could I offer a woman with the way I live?"

"You have plenty of good qualities! If you told Uther of your father, you could be a knight and any woman would want you."

"Including Gwen?"

"Well, maybe not her, but..why, do you really like her?"

"I was just kidding. I know she and Arthur share something special, so I'm not getting between that."

"Is there someone else you'd like?"

"You seem awfully intent on getting me a wife. Perhaps you'd like to volunteer?"

"I was just making conversation", Merlin tried, and turned to look elsewhere so Gwaine wouldn't see his face.

"You don't have to fix my life for me, Merlin. I like the way I live, and having you as a friend makes it even better. That's quite enough for me."

Merlin nodded. "I'll back off then." "Much obliged. I think we ought to camp there for the night", Gwaine pointed to a direction on the far left, "if it rains it won't flood us up there."

After setting up camp and the fire, they talked for a little. After a while, Merlin gathered up the will to ask the same question he'd asked Gwaine after he had helped Arthur and him in that tavern brawl. "Why do you want to do this?"

"Same reason as you: help a friend." Gwaine saw Merlin look surprised, and then try to hide it by looking away. "Arthur's lucky to have us."

"Not Arthur." Their gazes met. Merlin understood and saw the other man's grave stare. "I'd do the same for you", Merlin assured him.

"I hope so. You're the only friend I've got." Gwaine said.

"I'm not surprised", Merlin retorted with a faint smile. Gwaine laughed. Then, with a sudden movement, he threw one arm over the younger man, leaving him no other option but to lie down on the ground, with the slightly older man hovering over him. Gwaine brought his face to his. "What are you doing?" Merlin asked in a hushed tone, even though there was no one there to see them, except maybe the monsterbirds. He was breathing harder and his face was starting to blush. This could not end well.

Gwaine could barely hear him. What had started out as a joke had become a very real situation, and now that he had Merlin under him, he had absolutely no idea what to do next. Usually he didn't think much but rather followed his instincts, so he decided to do what he did best.

He covered Merlin's mouth with his own. He soon broke the kiss, to see how Merlin had taken it.

Merlin stared at him. He looked like he had seen a ghost (actually that probably wouldn't have scared him too much, but Gwaine didn't know that). He didn't seem angry _or _delighted. Just plain shocked.

"I'm sorry. You know I don't always think before I.. Are you alright?" Gwaine finally asked him, after several minutes of uncomfortable silence had passed.

"I. I. I'm fine. We should sleep now", Merlin, still seeming a little off, motioned towards the area they had cleared for sleeping. "Okay. Goodnight, then." Gwaine laid down and fell asleep almost instantly. Next to him, Merlin sat and thought about what had happened. He touched his lips, remembering the moment, then caught himself.

The next morning they didn't talk about the events of last night. If anything they acted more or less like nothing had happened. After they met Athur and saved his royal hiney (again), they all started looking for the trident together.

Then Merlin got himself locked up in the throne room.

Arthur and Gwaine tried knocking the door down, but it was clearly meant to last. Arthur found the mechanism of the door, but it took time to try to make it open the door. "You're sure there's no faster way to do this?" Gwaine asked him, tapping his leg. One benefit of his lifestyle was that he never or very rarely had to wait for anything. "I don't think so, so stay put and have your sword ready. Who knows what's inside by the time we get there", Arthur replied sternly, as if talking to one of his knights. "Why are you here, anyway?" "Merlin asked for my help." "Can't I go on one quest without chaperons?" "Apparently not."

Arthur sighed, then froze as they heard a click. The door opened upwards just enough for them to slide inside. They had expected the room to be filled with magical creatures and other enemies, so they were pleased to realize that Merlin had been quite safe on the other side.

Arthur patted him awkwardly on the shoulder and started looking for the trident. Gwaine saw that Merlin was a bit miffed by this, so he pulled him for a proper man-hug and patted him on the back. As Arthur found the trident and announced that they would get going that instant, Gwaine and Merlin stared after him and shared a smile.

As they reached the borders of Camelot, they once again bid farewell to Gwaine, who hadn't had a chance to talk to Merlin about the other night. He watched as the prince and his servant rode towards Camelot. "Maybe someday."

Arthur steered his horse close enough to Merlin's horse to punch Merlin lightly in the arm. "Hey. Gwaine said _you_ asked him to come and help me. Why didn't you just get one of the knights back at court? Anyone of them would've been more than glad to help, I think."

Excellent question. "Because you were supposed to do this quest alone and if I'd asked a knight, he could've told Uther. This way Gwaine helped you but he wouldn't tell Uther if you paid him to, so..that's it."

Arthur nodded, already thinking of something else. Merlin, on the other hand was quite busy trying to work out an answer to the question. Logically, the reply he'd just given to Arthur was the correct one, but he hadn't exactly thought about that aspect when he had sought out Gwaine's help. He raised his fingers to his lips as he pondered, but he stopped when Arthur told him to hurry up or he'd be left behind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Months passed and Merlin had hardly had time to think about Gwaine since their last encounter. He had all but decided to forget about the man. After all, had the man been serious about the kiss, he'd have come visit him or write to him or something. _I should think the son of a knight would've learned to write!_ He thought. _In any case, it doesn't matter. I should just concentrate on my destiny and on protecting Arthur, the latter being a full-time job, I might add_.

That was, until a series of unfortunate events ensured him being right back where he started. When he woke up in that dungeon only to realize that Gwaine was there too, his smile betrayed him despite his best efforts to remember that he was still slightly angry with the man. Gwaine seemed oblivious to his mixed feelings, and he simply laid his hands on Merlin's shoulders to greet him.

"Merlin old friend, you look terrible."

"Likewise."

Arthur quickly broke the moment by questioning Gwaine, who reluctantly let his arms drop. _Mood killer_.

After the brief duel that was cut short by the fire, they escaped to the woods where Merlin told Gwaine what they were looking for. Arthur slapped him for letting it slip. _I swear, every single time I tell Merlin a secret, he blurts it out to everyone_. Merlin argued back, not really with words, but with a "Come on, it's Gwaine!"-type of argument that really wasn't an argument to begin with, at least not to Arthur. Arthur was nearly glad that Gwaine interrupted them, suggesting that they might need help. Despite having many flaws, Arthur wasn't a fool and he knew not to refuse help when it might be needed.

After Arthur had agreed to let Gwaine help them, they started walking towards their goal. Merlin was lost in his thoughts, so Arthur and Gwaine tried to establish some form of polite conversation. It didn't take long for Gwaine and Arthur to start butting heads, though. They were surprised by Merlin's sudden interjection that stopped them on their tracks. Merlin continued forward, leaving the two men staring after him. Gwaine pushed Arthur's shoulder with his right fist.

"Truce?"

"Agreed."

Arthur grunted. He wasn't that used to talking to Gwaine yet. "So how did you end up here? I thought you would've been long gone by now. This is relatively close to Camelot."

"Actually I was returning. The south was fun, but I figured I'd come and say hello to Merlin. Didn't end too well, that plan."

Arthur eyed the man beside him as they hurried after Merlin. "_Just come and say hello to Merlin?_"

"Yes, so?"

Being the royal heir to the throne, Arthur didn't really know what was normal and what wasn't in friendship. Through years of bickering, he'd managed to establish a friendship with Merlin, but from what he had heard, usually friends came from more equal backgrounds. A servant and an adventurer were more or less equal. He wasn't exactly sure why he was surprised, then.

Gwaine was still waiting for an answer, so he just shrugged and said 'nothing'.

Gwaine nodded and glanced at the back of the younger man leading them. He couldn't shake the feeling that Merlin was mad at him, even though he had treated him friendly enough earlier. He decided to shake Arthur off their backs later so Merlin and him could finally talk.

Alas, then they met the druids. Gwaine didn't really have anything against them, but played along anyway, his pose like that of one of Arthur's knights. Arthur's more or less convincing hostage plan worked, and they got the cup in their hands. As they were leaving, the druid added one last message to Merlin's brain:

"Do not let your feelings get the best of you. The cup is what is important."

Ironically enough, they lost the cup less than an hour after obtaining it. Arthur was injured too, so they couldn't even go after the ones that had taken the cup. Merlin and Gwaine decided to set up camp there, to care for Arthur and rest a little. After Gwaine had gathered some wood for the fire, he finally gathered up the courage to talk to Merlin. He rested his elbows to his knees and crossed his hands under his jaw. "So. You are angry with me." It wasn't a question, just an observation.

Merlin looked surprised, then saw the seriousness of the other man's gaze and stopped pretending. "I am."

Gwaine wasn't used to people in general, let alone friends, let alone friends being mad at him. He'd have felt much better if Merlin had tried to kill him, that he'd have understood. Merlin, however, seemed calm. "Why?"

"Don't you know?" Now Gwaine could see he was crossed with him.

"I honestly don't. You seemed happy to see me earlier today, I thought.."

"Don't you remember what happened the last time we met?" Merlin got up at this and started circling the unconscious Arthur. "In front of a fire just like this one? Minus the down-for-the-count royal prince here!" He mock-kicked Arthur without touching him to emphasize his words.

"Oh." Gwaine stared at his feet. He was in a lot of trouble now.

"_Oh_?" Merlin looked as if he was going to burst. "I've been thinking about that for the last four months and you don't even..Just. Garhh!" He gasped for air. "I know you're reckless but you shouldn't go kissing people if you don't even care about them!"

Gwaine was standing now too. He approached Merlin, grabbed him and dragged him further away from the fire and the crown prince. He then proceeded to throw the younger man to the ground. He kneeled as well, lifting Merlin's head so they could face each other. The younger man's eyes were wide with shock."What are you doing?" He tried to struggle but Gwaine held him in place. Gwaine brought his face to Merlin's, but this time he waited. Merlin had closed his eyes, waiting for an attack, but when it didn't happen, he opened his eyes again, to see Gwaine waiting for him to respond to his unasked question. "I do care. About you." Merlin didn't know what to think. He saw his left hand move, almost on its own, and caress Gwaine's cheek. "I-", he started. He couldn't bring himself to ask for it. Not yet. Fortunately, Gwaine read him quite well considering that they had only spent relatively little time together. Their lips met and they sunk into a sweet kiss. After a minute or so, Merlin tried to pulled back as he remembered that he needed this little thing called 'air', but, as he was on the ground, this proved to be a bit problematic. "Gwaine."

"Mmhh?" Gwaine was busy nuzzling his neck.

"You're suffocating me. Get off me." Merlin tried to sound like he meant it, but it's hard to sound convincing when moaning.

"Alright. You be on top for a change."

"What?" Merlin yelped just before the adventurer on top of him flipped them and pulled him on top of him. Gwaine then sat up to kind of hug him and started untying his shirt from the strings of its back. Merlin hugged him back to better expose his back to the other man. He wasn't sure what he should do next. He was enjoying himself, yes, but he also had a feeling he should stop what he was doing..eventually. Gwaine, finally finished with the strings of his shirt, opened the piece of clothing to reveal Merlin's upper body. He started pulling at his own clothes with his right hand and used his left hand to undress Merlin's pants..or at least tried to. Apparently this was the breaking point for Merlin, who jumped to his feet and moved away from him. "No. It's too soon." This time he sounded sure. Nonetheless, Gwaine couldn't help but try. "According to whose rules?"

Merlin eyed him. He seemed angry, but probably more with himself than Gwaine. That didn't mean he couldn't take it out on him, though.

"You always do this. Are you going to leave again for four months, is that it?"

"I'm banished from Camelot, do you want me to come see you even if it costs me my life?"

"You could've written me a letter or come to the boarder and ask me to come meet you there."

Gwaine sighed. "Well, you obviously have more experience about secret love affairs. The last time we did _that_", he pointed at the place where they had just wrestled, "you didn't even want to talk about it afterwards so I figured you didn't want it."

"Well you didn't exactly give me time to decide if I did or not. You just jumped on top of me, just like now!" Merlin seemed intent on pretending that he hadn't been a more than willing participant of the aforementioned _that_.

Gwaine threw his arms in the air in defeat. "You know me, Merlin! I don't think, I do. I thought that was what you liked about me." Gwaine tried giving Merlin his usual wry smile, but Merlin simply looked away. Now he was angry at Gwaine too, that one was for sure. Gwaine crossed his arms behind his head. _The one friend you ever had, and you even managed to drive him away with your reckless behavior_.

"So what do we do now?" Gwaine asked.

"We get Arthur well and then figure out what we'll do next."

"I meant about us."

Merlin shrugged and said they'd better sleep on it. Gwaine was almost relieved, as even though he wanted to clear things with Merlin, he didn't think he could handle a conversation like the one they had just had again right then and there. He fell asleep after bidding Merlin goodnight. Merlin followed suite right after he had repaired his shirt.


	5. Chapter 5

Gwaine-wise the last episode was an epic fail (he hardly had any lines, and when he did, some of them didn't even make sense or were totally out of character, like the _that's sir Gwaine to _you), but the model knight's (I don't know his name) crossdressing, Freya's appearance and some other scenes more than made up for it. To make this more fun, I'm starting to play a little, so make sure you can tell the difference between what actually happened in the series and an individual character's focalisation. Also, on a totally unrelated subject: has anyone else noticed that Gwen looks the prettiest when she's afraid or otherwise unhappy? Just before she and Arthur kissed I was like _wow_.

I'm a little miffed now because the next season might only start in 2012, and in my opinion that's as good as cancelled.

**Chapter 5**

The original plan had been 'wake up, have a talk about _what does it all mean?_, wait until Arthur wakes up, then go get the cup back'. Of course, nothing was ever as simple as that. The quest itself had been intended to be a straight-forward retrieval mission, and now the future of Camelot was at stake. Every once in a while, Merlin wished he had someone else's life. No destinies, just a quiet life with a few friends. No warlocks trying to take over the kingdom, just lying in the sun. No burned down Camelot. No thousands of innocents dead.

And yet, this was his life. As he, Arthur, Gwaine and Elyon made their way through the halls of the castle, Merlin shot an instinctively worried glance to Arthur. The crown prince was limping his best, and admirably relatively quickly, but his speed was fading. Elyon noticed the same, and whispered as much to Merlin. They decided to split into two groups, Gwaine and Elyon headed to the dungeons while Merlin dragged Arthur to Gaius' chambers.

Gwaine agreed to the plan. He had seen Merlin's face: as he had said earlier, his destiny was to protect Arthur. Gwaine couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy, which he quickly brushed off, angry at himself. _How old are you? Honestly. The kingdom is coming undone and you're depressed because Merlin is worrying about someone who just pulled a poisoned arrow from his leg? Really? _He shook his head to clear his mind, then motioned Elyon to the dungeons and they left too.

In the dungeons, they did a quick search but didn't find Gwen nor the king, until they saw a group of undead soldiers dragging Uther upstairs. They followed them discreetly for a while to make sure where they were going, and then ran to share the information with Arthur, who sent them off with Gaius.

The next couple of weeks were difficult. Arthur had sunk into depression after finding out that his sister was evil, that his kingdom was all but ruined and oh, by the way, that he even had a sister in the first place. Gwaine didn't know whether to laugh or cry sympathetically whenever he saw the prince pout. After a while, there wasn't much for him to do. They didn't stand a chance against Morgana's army, so they just waited for something to change. Gwaine himself found himself in new a situation: usually he didn't stick around long enough to get bored. Even Merlin started talking to himself one night, and went off by himself. Gwaine let him go because _hey, we all deal with stress in our own way_.

Things started picking up when they were attacked and Lancelot and Percival joined them. Bringing them along sparked a new, different kind of energy to their group, which up until now had been rather gloomy thanks to Arthur. Now that they had some actual fighters in their group, they could actually start planning their coup d'état. To get back to the present, they were walking to the old castle, Gwaine seized the chance to talk to the two men that had just joined them. Percival turned out to be a bit on the quiet side but Lancelot was friendly enough.

"Anyway, thanks. Without your arrival it would've taken us longer to take down those thugs."

Despite how his words sounded, Lancelot knew what Gwaine meant. He had always been good at noticing things other people overlooked and this time he had a feeling there was more to Gwaine than met the eye. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw the rugged adventurer shooting sideway glances at Merlin, who, busy looking after Arthur as usual, remained oblivious of the other man's gaze. While it was out of the norm, Lancelot didn't have a problem with the idea of two men getting together, as he'd seen much worse things in his time, he just didn't want his friend unwittingly getting caught up in something like that. So, the next time he had a moment alone with Merlin, he laid the situation out to him rather bluntly.

"Gwaine lusts after you." To his surprise, Merlin didn't even seem phazed by his announcement.

"Oh?" Merlin uttered, failing miserably as an actor. He started unsaddling his horse.

Lancelot was quiet for a moment, stunned. "You knew?" Merlin's face betrayed him. "You are sleeping with him? Wow. You're not just up to your old tricks, you bought a whole new bag of tricks. Alright, it's not a perfect metaphor but really.."

"I am not sleeping with him!" Merlin interrupted his rambling. "But I do know how he feels."

"And how do you feel?" Lancelot turned to look at Gwaine, who was looking at him like he wanted to seriously hurt him, then looked angry at himself. "He is definitely jealous of you. But he doesn't seem like he enjoys being that way."

Merlin didn't look. He pretended to be fascinated with his horse's saddle laces. "I don't know what to do about him. He has made his interest clear, sure, but how can I develop feelings for him when he's never around? I've spent more time with you than with him. Not that I'm saying, ugh,-"

"It's okay Merlin, I get it", Lancelot said, raising his hands to deny Merlin's insinuation. "He's here now, though." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I know, and I have a feeling it's because of me. He's always on the road, and he loves it there. Being with me would mean him staying in one place, and I think he's just going to end up feeling trapped."

"Sounds to me you have put a lot of thought into rejecting a guy you presumably don't even like." Lancelot remarked, striking Merlin speechless. Smiling, he raised a suggestive eyebrow at Merlin and left him to think about his words. As he went to join the others, Gwaine greeted him enthusiastically, without a trace of his anger before. _At least he knows when he's being a prat and tries to fight it_, Lancelot thought and saw Arthur, who motioned him to join him.

Becoming a knight had been Lancelot's dream ever since he could remember, but seeing Gwen kiss Arthur so soon afterwards reminded him of the fact that he'd had other dreams, too. He needed a moment alone, and noone noticed when he left.

Meanwhile, Gwaine had mixed feelings over becoming a knight. Deep inside, this was what he wanted, but with the title came a price: his life would never be the same. Assuming they wouldn't die during their next mission, being a knight would mean being bound to Camelot. Forever. _I guess my traveling days are over_. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing. He could see Merlin more, though depending on how their next conversation would go, that might turn out to be more of a curse than a blessing. _Can I really become a knight? Not to Uther, of course, but to Arthur. Yes_. As for Merlin, he was going to have to figure something out. He was going crazy, just a while ago he'd nearly charged Lancelot simply for talking to Merlin. Gwaine had never been the jealous type, but to be fair, he'd very rarely had anyone he truly cared about either.

Merlin was going over the plan with Arthur when Gwaine came and yoinked him and dragged him away. Unfortunately for Merlin, Arthur didn't mind as this gave him a good opportunity to test Percival's skills with the sword.

"What do you think you're doing?" Merlin exclaimed, staggering away from the adventurer-turned knight.

"I want us to settle this now. We are going to die tomorrow, and I don't want to die without knowing the truth."

"Well aren't you the optimist."

"I'm bloody serious."

Merlin stayed silent for a while. "I can't tell you 'no' or 'yes' with the information I have now."

"What do you mean? You either want to be with me or not, it's not a gray area question. Or is it?" Gwaine argued calmly.

"I don't love you because I don't know you. I have enjoyed our time together, though. There could be something there, there might not."

"So this is what you are giving me before we die? Ambivalence?"

"More or less, yes."

"I want to make this simple. It doesn't seem to me like you even care, so let's just call it quits here and now. We're both free to do what we want."

"Weren't we before?" Merlin asked, trying to hide the fact that despite his cold words he was hurt by Gwaine's accusation. "Are we still friends?"

Gwaine tilted his head. "Until one of us dies..so, more precisely until tomorrow." He left Merlin and ran into Lancelot. The man's, or now the knight's expression revealed that he had heard everything. "Listen, I don't know what you think.." Gwaine tried, desperately trying to come up with a believable lie.

"I'm surprised. I thought you had a shot with him", Lancelot remarked and walked by him. Gwaine turned to look after him, trying to digest the pieces of information he'd just received.

To all of their surprise, they didn't die, and Camelot was once more governed by a male Pendragon. Uther was so distraught by the events that Arthur had to assume command for the most part. He sincerely hoped his father would get well and not force him to become king before he was ready for it. However, he saw this as a good chance to prepare for his future, so he handled his duties to the letter. Uther hadn't even cared about the fact that he had knighted Gwaine and Lancelot, though, according to Merlin, Gwaine was actually of noble birth, so Uther would've only been mad at him about Lancelot, really. And Elyon. _Oops_. Fortunately, at least Percival's father had been a knight, otherwise Arthur would have had to feel guilty over going against his father's wishes. Now that he was king, not by title but by action, the whole court was his to command. This meant that, for the time being, he had no need for an individual servant. Knowing this was only temporary, Arthur had no qualms about assigning Merlin to the messiest knight in town, but considering that the boy had come to be a friend to him, he figured he owed the boy better than that. He pondered for a while. Merlin seemed to get along well with Gwaine but even better with Lancelot. Lancelot, however, seemed like he had always been a knight: he was structured, organised and would do well with even an inexperienced servant. Gwaine on the other hand might struggle trying to fit into the life at court, and Merlin, having been the manservant of the royal heir, would help him ease into it. Arthur smiled, pleased with himself for having reached a decision. For once he felt he had done something nice for Merlin.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews, suggestions are fun to read.

Now that the season's over, my choices are a) discontinue the story until Merlin perhaps gets a new season, possibly forever or b) continue the story, having two AU-stories in my hands. Your choice? That's what I thought. Unfortunately for you guys, AU means _anything-can-happen-Thursday!_

**Chapter 6**

"Who is that over there?" Merlin asked Arthur, discreetly motioning towards a sandy-haired man who was next in line to go jousting.

"Him? He's the youngest son of king Eldor from the west."

"He looks a bit scrawny." Merlin said, handing Arthur a cup of water.

"He is not the strongest, true, but he knows how to handle a bow, and he's quite skilled with the sword as well. Give him time." Merlin turned to look at Arthur, surprised. Arthur gave up. "His father begged me to take him, and thanks to Morgause's plot we lost a lot of good knights. I have absolutely no idea if he's any good or not. I have never seen him in action." He grew silent, staring at something only he could imagine. He had decided to put off relocating Merlin until the end of the tournament, if not for his own comfort then to be practical: if he made big changes right before a big event, the knights wouldn't have enough time to train the servants and the tournament wouldn't go as smoothly as it should. The new knights were temporarily being taken care of by his father's servants.

"Uther is still not doing better, is he?" Merlin asked, knowing full well the state of the king, but wanting to give Arthur a chance to talk about it.

"No, but that's okay. I can handle his kingdom while he mourns. This jousting tournament is just for that: to show our enemies that we remain strong, despite recent events." Arthur was starting to sound like King Arthur and less like the spoiled little boy he had been when Merlin had first met him. Sometimes Merlin felt a bit lonely because of that. At least Arthur could publically embrace his destiny.

"Here he goes", he said out loud, stirring them both from their thoughts. "What did you say his name was?"

"I didn't: it's-" Arthur's voice died when he saw the man violently charge his opponent. The lance broke and the opponent fell from his horse, visibly injured. "-Oliver."

Oliver rushed to his opponent's aid. Gaius ran to them. After a moment of uncertainty, Gaius motioned to Arthur that he was going to live. Oliver didn't seem to know what to do, so Arthur started applauding and the audience quickly followed suit.

"Apparently he can use a lance", Merlin offered to a visibly shocked Arthur.

Gwaine came to say hello to them. "He certainly didn't waste any time with that one."

"No, he didn't", Arthur replied, first without turning to look, then, finally meeting his gaze, he asked: "Nervous about your first jousting tournament?"

"Men poking each other with sticks. Women should pay to watch this stuff", Gwaine replied and gave Merlin a friendly bump on the shoulder. Merlin laughed, but Arthur wasn't as pleased. "Try to take this seriously. This is your debut as a knight. Make your kingdom proud." He laid his hand briefly on Gwaine's shoulder to make him see he was serious, then he left to take care of some affairs. Gwaine looked after him. "Becoming king hasn't improved his sense of humor I see."

Merlin tilted his head to his side. "It's hard on him, you know. The whole kingdom on his shoulders, I mean."

"I'm sure it is, but isn't that why he has advisers?"

"I guess he needs to start delegating."

They grew silent and stared at each other's shoes. Gwaine thought he should leave. _I hate awkward silences. What's with us?_

"So who is your first opponent?" Merlin blurted out, after a quick and desperate attempt to come up with something they could talk about.

"Sir Morris. In fact, I should go now. Otherwise he'll win by default when I show up late."

"Okay. Um. Good luck!" Merlin said, cursing himself mentally. _Stupid stupid me_.

The day passed rather quickly. Many of the knights were new-comers, such as Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival and Elyon. The rest, such as this Oliver, were being tested to see if they could become knights. Elyon had impressed Arthur, the man had made his way to his fifth fight until he was dropped by Percival, who in turn lost to Oliver in his next round. This time around, Arthur wasn't participating. With no king to take his place, he couldn't afford to get injured, however much he wanted to take his rightful place as tournament champion. In the final round, there was only Gwaine and Oliver left.

Gwaine nodded, and they excited their horses towards each other. When Oliver was almost close enough to strike him, Gwaine noticed that Oliver's lance was shaking. He ducked to avoid being hit by Oliver, making him lose his balance and used his own lance to push him off his horse.

Oliver rolled on the ground a few times, then stopped. Gwaine jumped to the ground and walked up to the man. "Are you alright?" Oliver turned to face him. "I'm mortified." He flashed a bright smile at Gwaine to completely refute his previous statement. Gwaine offered him his hand and Oliver pulled himself up. "Congratulations." "Thanks. You had a good round going there, yourself."

"It's all about the technique. Everyone usually jousts in the same way, so once you master it, it's easy to beat. You, on the other hand..You're different."

"I'm just inexperienced. This is my first jousting tournament."

"It was the first for many, but your fighting style differs from theirs, too."

"Well, it's nice to hear someone call you special, but I think I have to, you know, own this fight or whatever it is they call the ending." Gwaine raised his arms to greet the audience, who responded enthusiastically clapping their hands. When he turned back to Oliver, he had disappeared.

The banquet was..amazing. Gwaine wasn't used to being the center of the attention in a positive way, so he was taken aback by the lavish celebrations held in his honor. Arthur told the other knights that they ought to strive to be like Gwaine some day (Merlin and Gwaine nearly choked at Arthur's words. Later, Arthur came to tell Gwaine that he needed to strive to be like the other knights, and that felt more familiar to Gwaine). Gwaine saw Merlin and before he could stop himself, he reached out to tap his shoulder. "So, proud of me?" "Yes. Though I have to say I still don't understand these tournaments. A guy almost dies and that's entertainment?" "I find it ironic that here almost getting killed is my responsibility when before it was just a hobby." Gwaine smiled. Merlin smiled too. "This is your moment. Use it well", he said before rushing to Arthur's side. Gwaine saw Oliver stuffing his face with food. He made his way through the crowd and pushed Oliver to the side. "Hey, the world doesn't end tomorrow, there's no need to suffocate over a piece of pie."

"Says you. Have you tasted this?" Oliver asked him, offering the rest of his piece to him. "I'll get one of my own, thanks", Gwaine refused the plate and before he could even start wondering where he could find this pie, a servant was there to offer him a plate with just that pie on it. "Thank you?" The servant bowed and ran off. Oliver looked at Gwaine, who was still trying to figure out what had just happened. "You're really not used to being served, are you?" No, I suppose I'm not." "Well, I find it refreshing. Many here don't consider servants as even people." Oliver got back to eating his pie, which seemed to cause him immense satisfaction. Gwaine tried the pie, but failed to reach the same level of bliss. "I like your way of thinking. Having a title doesn't make anyone better, it's the man's actions that prove his worth." "So true. Speaking of worth, I believe the royal chef should be knighted." "I wouldn't go so far. I think you just like pie." "This is the best pie I've ever tasted."

"Let me go!" Everybody heard Gwen's voice. The crowd saw a tall man holding Gwen's arm, clearly hurting her. Gwaine was about to move when Oliver ran past him to challenge the thug. "Let her go."

"Or what?" The man turned to face Oliver. He reeked of alcohol but unfortunately this wouldn't probably make him any easier to calm down once provoked.

"I'll do this." Oliver punched the man on his jaw, and used the time the thug spent trying to get up to take Gwen and get her to safety, more precisely into the arms of Arthur who by now had joined them. Arthur lead Gwen further away from the man, and most of the crowd backed away, forming a circle around the two. The man got up, and charged Oliver, who moved to the side at the last second, making the man run against a wall. This further antagonized the man, who started swearing and grabbed the young man by his neck. He began to choke Oliver who panicked and kicked him in the groin. The man doubled in pain and released Oliver, who struggled to stand. After a moment to gather himself, Oliver finally stood up and kicked the man, but to no effect. Suddenly, Gwaine grabbed him by the neck from behind and threw him back for his safety. "What do you think you're doing?" Oliver yelped, landing against the crowd, more precisely Merlin and Lancelot, not that he knew them. "I'm helping you. Trust me", he continued while dodging a blow, "you'll thank me later." He dealt one swift blow and thought that was the end of that, turning to smile victoriously to Oliver, whose face suddenly turned white. Oliver charged at him, pushing him aside and colliding with the man. Then Oliver fell to the ground, revealing the knife the man was holding, now turned bloody. The guards had finally arrived, and they escorted the thug to the dungeons. Gwaine turned Oliver around and lifted him gently. Oliver was seemingly fine. His clothes were bloody, but he didn't seem like he was dying. He searched Oliver's body for a puncture wound, and found it right below his ribcage. Fortunately, it wasn't too deep. His thoughts were interrupted when Oliver grabbed his hand and muttered "keep your hands to yourself". The young man was starting to fall asleep, and Gwaine searched desperately for Gaius in the crowd. "Merlin? Gaius?" He shouted. "Here", the two appeared beside him. Gaius briefly examined the wound Gwaine pointed out to him. "Carry him to my chambers so I can treat him", Gaius told Gwaine who practically ran at his suggestion. Oliver was heavier than he looked, but that didn't matter. In Gaius' chambers Gwaine layed him on one of the beds and slapped Oliver's cheeks to keep him awake. "Where am I?" The man in question pondered, more to himself than to them. "The court physician is going to take a look at you. You got stabbed." "Gwaine, strip him so I can clean his wound", Gaius asked as almost an afterthought. "You're not touching me", Oliver pointed his right forefinger at Gwaine, trying to stay awake. "Look, I don't get off on looking at your bare chest, we are trying to help you!" Gwaine laughed and tried to undress the man against his will, which turned out to be a bad idea. "Gwaine, stop. He's losing more blood fighting you than he would on his own. Why don't you and Merlin go get his things here, and send word to his father. I'll examine him alone." Gaius motioned them to leave. "My father is a king, if you send word that I got hurt in Camelot there might be repercussions." "..alright, just gather his things then. You will be staying here for a while."

Gwaine and Merlin hurried towards the tavern where Oliver was staying.

"Difficult one, that was." Gwaine's statement amused Merlin.

"Isn't this almost identical to the time when I met you?"

"How so?"

"You saved Arthur's life and got stabbed, he saved your life and got stabbed. Both brawls began in a tavern or a party. You're both reckless.."

"Yeah, but I wasn't a pain when you guys treated me."

"That's because you weren't conscious during our treatment."

"True."

When they returned with Oliver's things, he appeared to be fast asleep, clutching his pillow like a ..well, a piece of pie. They didn't bear to disturb him so they left him be. Merlin spent the night in Arthur's quarters, while Gwaine tried to get used to having ones in the first place. It wasn't just one room, but several. He didn't even know what to do with all that space. _Babysteps_, he thought, and spent the night sleeping on the floor. He would ease into sleeping on the bed eventually.

When he awoke in the morning, he had an idea and passed by the royal kitchen on his way to Gaius' chambers. Oliver greeted him sleepily. "What's that you have behind your back?"

"I asked the chef to whip up something special just for you." Gwaine revealed the plate in his hand on top of which was a perfect piece of peach pie. Oliver's face lighted up. "Thank you!" He said and happily accepted the plate. He started eating, savoring every spoonful.

"Well, it seems like a cruddy 'thank you' after you saved my life and all, but it's a start, I guess."

"Save your life?" Oliver asked, blinking a couple of times.

"Your memory's still a little fuzzy from last night, isn't it?" Gwaine stated, giving a small chuckle.

"I remember you won the tournament, there was the banquet and a girl. The girl was being harassed by this guy and I stopped it."

"Actually it went a little more like I stopped it", Gwaine argued and smiled.

"He was going to kill you. With a knife. Now I remember."

"Why did you cut in? You don't know me."

"You gave me pie."

"I gave you that pie right now. That doesn't explain why you would put your life on the line for mine."

"It's not a big deal. I was there and decided to go for it. Why bother obsessing about a decision I made in under a second?"

Gwaine laughed. For once it was he who was obsessing and somebody else was telling him to relax. Funny how life turned out.

"Well, I still owe you my life, and according to Arthur, that's a big deal."

"So, you know Arthur well?" Oliver asked him

"Not really, I'm better friends with his manservant, Merlin. Arthur is alright, once you get to know him. He has a stick up his hiney, but that's just for appearances' sake, I think. The girl you protected is his, well, how to say this, he loves her. So he can't be that bad, after all. In the beginning you'd think he's obsessed with titles like his father, but he's really not that bad. He's not very good to Merlin, but I don't know what's up with that friendship, either." He eyed Oliver, who seemed surprised by the amount of information he'd just received. "Am I boring you?" "No, but I don't know half of these people in your story, so I reserve the right to be a little confused."

"Sorry."

"So, Arthur is not always good to his servants, but he's generally a good guy, right?" Oliver tried to summarize Gwaine's story's highlights.

"What's this about me not being good to my servants?" They jumped as they saw Arthur, Merlin at his side, at the doorsteps.

"I believe he said you treat me badly sometimes", Merlin remarked, with a giddy expression on his face. "Shut up, Merlin."

Oliver tried to bow to Arthur, but winced in pain and Arthur motioned him to stop. "You did a brave thing, yesterday. You defended a lady's honor and saved the life of one of my knights. While I can't knight you simply for your participation in a bar fight, I will say that you most definitely have earned a spot among my knights. You have officially permission to stay in Camelot and train to become a knight." Arthur elbowed Merlin, who handed Oliver a piece of paper containing the royal seal. "Have you anything to say?" Arthur asked him. Oliver held the paper as if it were a soap bubble, ready to break at any minute. The only words he could manage were an earnest "Thank you, sire." Arthur nodded and left, taking Merlin with him. Gwaine glanced at Oliver's face. The boy couldn't speak. "You didn't finish your pie", Gwaine tried. That did the trick: life returned to Oliver's eyes and he resumed eating his pie. Once he had finished, he looked at Gwaine. "More?"


	7. Chapter 7

I sincerely apologize: it's not nice to mess with one's readers. But seriously, Oliver will make sense eventually. In retrospect, I guess I should've used one of the existing characters, but for the illusion of canonity I went with him. I changed the summary for kicks, not because I have an ulterior motive..or do I? No.

**Chapter 7**

After the tournament and the events that followed, Gwaine and Oliver became fast friends. Gwaine took Oliver under his wing, and roof, as Oliver temporarily moved in Gwaine's chambers. Merlin observed their interactions from afar. He missed Gwaine. He felt an ache in his chest whenever he saw the man in the halls or passing by in the streets. Worst of all was his increasing jealousy of Oliver, who had replaced Merlin in the man's life, or so he thought. He regretted the fight they had had and especially how it had ended. He had let Gwaine slip through his fingers right at the moment when the man had offered himself to him, and now he had apparently found someone else to keep him company.

Personality-wise, they were strikingly similar. Oliver was always ready to defend someone who was under-handed in a fight, and he, like Gwaine, gained an instant popularity among the women of Camelot. "They are quite popular. With women, I mean." Merlin didn't realize he had spoken aloud before hearing Arthur's answer. "So they are. Lancelot too, I hear." Arthur's forehead wrinkled. "In fact, you've given me an idea. Oh, and I get to kill two birds with one stone. Call the new knights to meet me, I'll grant them an official audience."

Once the knights were all assembled, Arthur greeted them appropriately and then proceeded to the matter at hand. "First off, you will be assigned your own servants. I myself won't need an individual servant for a while, so I'm assigning Merlin to Gwaine for the time being."

Merlin coughed. Then nearly choked. Lancelot, who was standing next to him, smacked him on his back a few times to ease his breathing. "Is there a problem Merlin?" Arthur asked, annoyed.

Merlin glanced at Gwaine, who seemed to share his divided sentiments. "No, of course not."

"Good. You'll begin immediately. You will also help out Oliver, who's staying with Gwaine until he's officially knighted." He spoke as if becoming a knight was an eventuality for the boy, Gwaine noted. Oliver would be pleased to hear that.

"The second affair at hand is that of marriage. Those of you who already have wives may leave now. Congratulations, by the way." Five knights took a bow and left. The rest, almost a dozen in numbers, stared at Arthur, their feelings varying from scared to cautiously optimistic. Arthur saw that among those remaining was Lancelot. _Curses_. Arthur was aware of his past with Gwen, and he felt like a monster for suggesting this to him of all men. Nonetheless, this applied to all knights.

"You have been knighted, but you have not yet married. It would be in Camelot's best interest that you should marry and have sons, who in turn will one day carry on your legacy and protect Camelot. From this day forth, I will organize a series of festivities during which I hope you men will keep an open mind and heart, and if lady fortuna is willing, find yourself a good woman to love."

Merlin glanced at Gwaine, who looked like he had heard a good jest. Lancelot, however, didn't find Arthur's suggestion humorous. "Is this mandatory?"

"Of course not. I'm the last person to tell you who you should fall in love with. I'm simply giving you the opportunity to meet some women and possibly wed someday. You will not earn points with me simply by getting married with the first girl you see. I expect you all to marry women who are your equals and who you can feel proud to call your wives. Choose well." He dismissed the men and nodded to Merlin in goodbye. It had been a long time since the boy hadn't been nearly constantly by his side. _Everything changes, I guess_. Merlin simply smiled that quirky smile of his. "You'll beg me to come back in under a fortnight." Before Arthur could retaliate, Merlin ran along, hurrying to catch up to Gwaine.

"So, you and me. Just like old times", Gwaine chuckled and bumped his shoulder. "Yes, except this time it will just be me who will polish shoes. On the upside, this time it's just your shoes, not the whole army's, so maybe I'll manage."

"You are not really going to polish my shoes, are you?"

"I did it for Arthur."

"Maybe, but to me it feels wrong." Gwaine suddenly had an idea. "Where do you usually sleep?"

"Either in Arthur's quarters or at Gaius'. Why?"

"Nuthin'. I just figured you might want to join me and Oliver."

"You and Oliver." Merlin's tone sounded judgmental, which irked Gwaine. "You don't like Oliver?"

"Considering the only time I had even the slightest interaction with him, he was thrown against me by yours truly, I really can't say."

"Then what's with you?" Gwaine pestered him. He couldn't see why Merlin would dislike someone as friendly as Oliver. _Maybe the boy has a complex for people who treat him badly, like Arthur_.

"Are you with him now?" Merlin asked, having decided to stop beating around the bush.

Gwaine looked sincerely surprised by his question. "Are you kidding me?"

"Well, we ended things on a bad note, and you said we're both free, so it would seem.."

"You are out of it. Firstly, I don't solely like men, and definitely not all men. Secondly, Oliver is my best friend, just like Lancelot is yours. Should I feel jealous of him?"

"Of course not. And he's not my best friend."

"Well he's the one you've spent most of your time with after Morgana disappeared. Not counting Arthur of course. Is he your best friend too?" Gwaine sunk to hug the wall next to him. "This is a ridiculous conversation."

"I just wanted to know if you are with him or not."

"He is my friend, which is more than I can say for you for the past few weeks. Are we still friends?"

"No", Merlin whispered. He looked to see if someone was watching, and then lifted his hands to Gwaine's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss was interrupted by the guards who passed by and greeted Gwaine, who vaguely replied something appropriate while Merlin struggled to keep his face calm. When they made their way to Gwaine's chambers they couldn't talk due to the servants, guards and other curious passers-by, but Gwaine smiled brightly and Merlin, though slightly embarrassed, felt happy for the first time since their fight.

Outside Gwaine's chambers they heard noise. They recognized the voices, as they belonged to Oliver and Percival. _I didn't even know they knew each other_, Gwaine whispered to Merlin, who in turn shook his head. _Me neither_. The conversation seemed agitated so they decided to remain hidden.

"Your father will be furious when he finds out." Percival usually stayed silent so it was surprising to hear him speak in full sentences.

"Cousin, you promised me. You gave me your word that you wouldn't tell."

"Only because I didn't know what I was promising."

"It will be alright. See how well I did in the tournament?"

"You could've been killed."

"You're just pissed because I beat you."

"Don't use that kind of language."

"Fine. If you swear you won't tell my father."

"On the condition that you stay in good health. The minute you get injured, I will call him here, and he _will_ come."

"I know, getting stabbed wasn't exactly my brightest idea, but I promise to work harder on not getting killed."

Percival gave out a loud sigh. "To see that day.." He surprised Gwaine and Merlin by opening the door abruptly, blowing their cover. Oliver's eyes were wide and he was clearly calculating what they had heard. Gwaine, smooth as ever, opened his mouth first. "So, you guys are cousins? Did not know that."

He and Merlin got up and saw that Percival briefly considered denying the fact, but gave up. "Yes."

"I'm the king's son, and he's my father's brother's son, thus making him my cousin", Oliver quickly explained the family tree.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? If anything, having a cousin as a knight here would only help you", Merlin asked him.

"Exactly. I wanted to become a knight on my own. I guess that's done, now." He looked at the ground, clearly begging for sympathy. Percival looked at him with a slightly annoyed expression on his face.

"Nuh, we'll keep your secret, won't be Merlin?" Gwaine raised his eyebrow at the boy next to him, reminding the raven-haired boy of the fact that they had some secrets of their own. Merlin nodded nervously. Percival shook his head and excused himself, leaving the three men by themselves. Oliver's face lighted up at Gwaine's words. "Let's celebrate this joyous occasion with some pie!"

"You need to train every hour of every day if you want to stay fit after all the pies you've eaten here", Gwaine teased him, poking the man's stomach.

"I could give up cakes and train until the end of the world and I still wouldn't look like you do naked", Oliver pushed his chest in revenge. Merlin digested the information. "Naked?"

Oliver was suddenly embarrassed. "Well, it isn't my fault, in his chambers he's usually half-naked. They're his chambers and I'm just a guest, so I'm hardly in the position to complain", he added.

Merlin turned his gaze to Gwaine's, who had a teasing look on his face. "Just so you know: while I'm your servant, you wear clothes at all times."

Gwaine raised his left eyebrow suggestively. "Well, maybe not _all_ the time.."

Merlin closed his eyes and shook his head at Gwaine's shamelessness. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Oliver looking at them with a weird expression on his face.

End of chapter

According to some texts, Percival is either the son of a brave knight, or of a king. In this story his family tree is as previously described. If the fourth season contradicts my view, I can work with that too, but hopefully I won't have to.

Edit: I fixed this chapter as there were some fibs. It's all better now. Sorry to all who wondered where Percy disappeared to at the end.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry about the previous chapter, I noticed some fibs after uploading it so I fixed it now. Nothing big, but it works better now.

**Chapter 8**

"Somebody might see", Merlin pretended to struggle, though it was obvious he didn't really care.

"Whoever might see us, has seen a lot worse." Gwaine's reply was muffled because he was busy sinking his teeth in Merlin's neck. "You taste good."

Merlin closed his eyes and thanked the heavens for his good fortune. As usual, however, Merlin stopped Gwaine before things got too heated for him. Fighting all his natural instincts he pushed Gwaine away. "I think that's enough for today. But. Thank you."

"You really don't have to thank me ever time I _pleasure_ you." Gwaine took great pride in making Merlin blush with embarrassment. It was a question of choosing the right words, really.

Merlin started cleaning the chambers, while Gwaine stared at him. It still didn't sit right with him, having Merlin serve him, but the boy had insisted on them playing their parts. Merlin seemed to have plenty of experience in the area of secret keeping. Gwaine hadn't yet found the courage to ask him why that was.

"Haven't seen Oliver around lately. Have you?" Merlin asked, unaware of Gwaine's thoughts.

"He spends most of his time training with the knights. We spar every once in a while, but that's about it."

"Makes sense, I suppose, that's why he's here, isn't it?"

"I guess. What do you think that thing with him and Percival was?"

"Maybe Oliver's here without his father's knowledge. Should we tell Arthur?"

"No. We don't know anything for certain yet, and most importantly, he's a friend."

"But Arthur deserves to know if he has a potential war at his hands."

"War?"

Merlin used his 'international politics for dummies'-voice to narrate the hypothetical outcome. "Oliver happens to get killed training with us, his father blames us and declares war, Camelot is destroyed. The end."

"Well, when you put it like that.."

"Exactly." Merlin had crossed his arms, waiting for Gwaine to continue. He would always take the kingdom's, or more precisely Arthur's side when it came down to it. Gwaine didn't know what to think about that particular feature of his personality.

"If we tell Arthur of our suspicions, he'll throw Oliver out of Camelot and that's the end of his dream."

"One man's dream against the lives of two nations. Besides, he could be a knight in his father's court. Why did he come to us?" His words were uncharacteristically cold.

Gwaine looked at him, worried. "That doesn't sound like the Merlin I know."

"These are bigger matters than what we used to have." Merlin face grew stiff, reminding Gwaine of Arthur's now-a-days permanent expression of worry and doubt. Gwaine reached out to take Merlin by the hand, turning his frown into a smile and Gwaine gladly saw him return to his usual self.

"Let's investigate the matter further, and then make our decision. I'll ask Oliver about his father, to see if we're really in trouble or not."

"Alright", Merlin agreed and pressed a small peck on Gwaine's lips. He then resumed cleaning the chambers, while Gwaine left to go look for Oliver.

After Merlin had become Gwaine's servant, Oliver had found himself more often alone than with Gwaine, which differed greatly from his first few weeks in Camelot. During that time Gwaine had shown him around Camelot and they had hardly spent a moment apart. Now-a-days Gwaine was busy with his new knightly duties which included finding a wife (Oliver had nearly suffocated when Gwaine had told him of Arthur's plan over diner. _A man as unorganized as Gwaine marrying a noble woman? Right.._). Oliver wasn't hurt by this new development. They still saw each other often, if not for anything else then because they lived together. Regardless, Oliver needed to find something else to occupy his time with, which lead to him spending increasing amounts of time training with the knights.

On one such occasion:

Elyan, who was very much like his sister whom Oliver had also gotten to know, had agreed to train him after he had finished his duties for the day. They let the tips of their swords touch to mark the beginning of the match (and also to signify that the match in question wasn't an official one) and then began to look for weak spots on the other's defense.

Elyan let Oliver begin the attack: he took his position as a teacher seriously and he figured the best way to learn is to let the student make mistakes. Unfortunately, he had underestimated Oliver's skills when the boy had asked for his help. The boy swung his sword against his in an obvious fashion, then quickly slid the blade under Elyan's sword, nearing his neck. Elyan moved his sword to block the potentially fatal attack, but Oliver grabbed his cross-guard and pushed it to Elyan's left side, captivating his hands and leaving Oliver just enough room to place his own sword on Elyan's neck. They awoke from the heat of battle when they heard clapping, and saw Lancelot a few feet away from them. "For a first match, not bad. However, I think Elyan can do better." He motioned Elyan to join him and he whispered something to his ear. Oliver waited for them to come back to him. "I'm not a knight, so I don't belong to your secret club, is that it?" "I just gave Elyan a tip. I'll give you one too if you ask nicely." Lancelot flashed him a smile that was a bit too bright to be completely sincere. "Now, try again."

Oliver attacked first this time around, too, but Elyan had already experienced his tricks first hand, and didn't fall for them twice. Instead, he locked Oliver in a death grip, pushing his sword against Oliver's. With brute force he forced Oliver to kneel on the ground. Oliver gave up and Elyan let go, looking sincerely regretful as Oliver's shoulders slunk in defeat, whereas Lancelot wasn't sorry at all. "As I suspected. You have skill, but without strength, it means nothing when you have to face an opponent in real life."

Oliver looked ashamed and couldn't face either one of them. "Thank you for the lesson, sir Elyan", he finally said and started walking towards the castle. Elyan followed him, as he was no longer needed.

"Yes, see you tomorrow Elyan. Hey, Oliver, where do you think you are going?" Lancelot ran to catch up with Oliver, who turned around when he heard his name called. Elyan patted Oliver sympathetically on the shoulder before passing him and heading home. Lancelot reached Oliver and repeated his previous question.

"Home to pack. I'll never be a knight."

"Well, not with that attitude.."

"You said it yourself, I'm useless."

"I didn't say you were useless, I said you lack strength."

"What's the difference?"

"If you were useless, you couldn't train to become stronger." Lancelot motioned him to follow him. They stopped walking when Lancelot found a relatively bump-free location. "Now, watch me." He laid down on the ground on his stomach and placed his hands sturdily on the ground. He lowered himself down and then pushed himself up by only using his arms. He repeated the same thing ten times, then got up and turned to Oliver. "Try doing that once."

"Just once? How weak do you take me for?" Oliver asked him.

"Get to it then."

Oliver tried. He really did. His original plan was to outshine Lancelot by doing what he had done and then some, but when he had lowered himself down and his body seemed to weigh a ton, he could scarcely bring himself up again, and when he did, he collapsed from fatigue.

"Well done." Lancelot tapped him on the back. Even though he had failed his original plan and his wrists were killing him, it felt good to have Lancelot praise him. Strangely, despite how small the victory had been, it felt like his biggest accomplishment to date.

"Now what?"

"We wait a moment, and then you go again. This time, you make two of those."

"I can't." Oliver was far from a perfectionist, but admitting he couldn't do something wounded his pride, however small, nonetheless.

"Oh, yes you can, and I'm staying with you until you prove me right." Lancelot offered him some water. "Drink up, and try again."

Gwaine had hardly stepped out the door when he saw Lancelot approaching him, carrying something heavy thrown on his shoulder. "When he wakes up, tell him that he should let his arms rest for a day. I'll come see him day after tomorrow", Lancelot said while giving his baggage, now recognized as Oliver, to Gwaine. He waved Gwaine goodbye and left, whistling a tune Gwaine recognized but whose name he didn't quite remember just then. Gwaine glanced at Oliver to find him soundly sleeping. "What the.."

When Oliver awoke the next morning, he felt better than he'd ever felt before. He stretched his arms and legs, and Merlin stepped into his room. "Good, you're awake. Breakfast is served."

Oliver joined Gwaine and Merlin at the table and started eating. Gwaine and Merlin stared at him, then each other. Merlin pushed Gwaine. _Go ahead_, he whispered. "What's going on?" Oliver asked.

Gwaine laid the situation out to him. "We heard your conversation with Percival. We think you are here against your father's wishes, and if that is the case, Merlin will squeal to Arthur about you so fast it will make everybody's head spin." Merlin elbowed him at that last remark, but he knew Gwaine was right.

Oliver, feeling a little ambushed, considered his options. Option 1: tell the truth and accept the consequences. Option 2: kill Merlin and convince Gwaine not to tell Arthur. Option 3: convince Merlin not to tell Arthur. _Why does _convince Merlin_ only come after _kill Merlin_? What is _wrong_ with me? _He briefly wondered. He then settled on Option 4: tell half of the truth and see what happens.

"As you know, my father is king. However, he has been blessed with four sons and four daughters, so what I do is rather irrelevant when it comes to our kingdom. I'm the youngest therefore I have no chance of getting to the throne. I came to Camelot to see what I could make of myself."

"If you get hurt, your father will declare war on Camelot, especially when he didn't even know you were here to begin with." Oliver winced: Merlin wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

"What if I send word to my father, explaining my whereabouts and saying that I am well?" He would never actually send the letter, but Merlin didn't need to know that.

"I think it's best if you return to your father and explain to him in person what you are doing here", Merlin's answer once again torpedoed Oliver's hopes.

Oliver's final, however desperate, attempt to save himself: "The road to my father's kingdom travels through the Perilous lands, and I don't think I need to tell you how dangerous it is to-"

"Been there-", Gwaine interrupted him.

"-Done that", Merlin finished. They smiled to each other as if remembering a good experience. "We'll make it a diplomatic mission and suggest it to Arthur. I'm sure he'll agree to let us go, he'd want to avoid any problems with the neighboring kingdoms."

"When do we leave?" Gwaine seemed ready to go that instant. He hadn't left Camelot since he'd been knighted. His natural instinct to travel hadn't been extinguished, simply put on hold.

"Not yet. I'll talk to Arthur about it tonight, we'll see when he says it's okay."

"Perfect, isn't it?" Gwaine literally beamed and glanced at Oliver, inviting him to share his sentiment. Oliver smiled nervously. _Crud._

As they had agreed earlier, when night fell, Merlin went to see Arthur. "Are you busy?"

"I thought you said it was _me_ who was going to beg for _you_ to come back", Arthur ignored his question and gave him a crooked smile. "I have much to do, but I'd be glad to think about something else for a while. What is it?"

"It turns out that Oliver's father, the king, doesn't know that he's here. In order to prevent any problems, we thought it might be best if he were to personally explain to his father what he is doing in Camelot. It's too dangerous for him to go alone, so-"

"-I should send some knights to go with him?" Arthur interrupted him, eyeing Merlin with an indecipherable expression on his face. "Alright."

"Really?"

"If we can prevent a potential crisis, I vote we do it. Why are you so surprised?"

"I didn't expect this to be so..easy."

"Do you have any suggestions on who should accompany him there?"

This was the last straw for Merlin. "Seriously, are you alright? You don't even sound like Arthur. Who are you?"

Arthur threw his arms in the air, frustrated. "I have to act as king while my father is unwell. It comes with responsibilities. You presented me with a problem and a solution, I think your solution is valid. Names?"

"Well, Gwaine wants to go, so I'll go with him."

"Sure. He has previous experience of the Perilous lands. As do you. Though that never happened." Arthur frowned and pointed his forefinger humorously at Merlin, to make sure he would never tell anyone about Merlin and Gwaine accompanying him there, reminding Merlin more of the good old Arthur. "Right."

"Who else?"

"I don't know. How many do we need?"

"I'd say three knights should suffice. So far we only have one."

Merlin had an idea. "Percival!"

"I think you mean sir Percival", Arthur corrected him.

Merlin ignored him. "He's Oliver's cousin, apparently. Maybe he can help reason with Oliver's father."

"Excellent. And the last one?"

"I can't think of any."

"I think Lancelot should accompany you, as he is the best knight I have. It will look good to have him as a diplomatic envoy."

"When do we leave?"

"In a few weeks. Before that, we have festivities to organize."

"Right. For the wife hunt." Merlin chuckled at the thought of some of the knights trying to dance with their potential wives.

"Nobody seems too excited about that", Arthur frowned. Merlin tried to comfort him. "You meant well."

Arthur nodded and took a deep sigh, then broke the moment. "Run along now. I have things to attend to, and you have your new master to care for."

Merlin left Arthur's chambers feeling worried that Arthur had had to assume leadership too early for his years. As much as Merlin had disagreed with Uther's way of ruling his kingdom, Arthur had had the time to amuse himself. _Wonder if he even has the time to see Gwen these days_. Nostalgically, he gently tapped Arthur's door before heading to Gwaine's chambers.

As he had promised, Lancelot returned two days later. "Are you here to torture me again?" Oliver asked him. "Indeed I am.", Lancelot replied mock-politely and turned to Gwaine and took a bow. "Dear sir, may I please take your ward out for some pain and recreation?" His mocking tone of voice contradicted his seemingly courteous words.

"Just bring him back in one piece", Gwaine agreed and laughed at Oliver's horrified expression. "You loved it the last time around, don't lie to him."

"I don't think I can do it again."

"That's where you're wrong. Let's go." Lancelot motioned him towards the door and waited for the younger man to go through it before he followed him, or at least tried to, until Gwaine stopped him. "What exactly are you doing to him? You brought him back unconscious the last time. You're not really going to hurt him, are you?"

"Your suspicions wound me, my friend. I didn't even touch him. He did it all to himself." Lancelot released himself from Gwaine's grip. "Don't worry, I think this time Oliver can walk back on his own. Besides, this is an excellent opportunity for you and Merlin to spend some quality time together."

Gwaine blinked. Lancelot smiled at his baffled expression and hurried after Oliver. When he was gone, Gwaine closed the door and turned to Merlin. "Did you tell him or does he just _know_ whenever two people get together?"

"I never said anything, he just guessed, so I'm guessing the latter."

"Maybe he's a sorcerer", Gwaine joked. "He has visions or something to that effect. I should tell Arthur on him. Maybe I could get to win a tournament for once. After that first one it has been nothing but Lancelot, Lancelot and who else but Lancelot!" He gave a satisfied yawn and laid down on his bed.

Merlin was surprised. He sat next to Gwaine on the bed. "You're jealous of Lancelot winning all the competitions?"

"Not really. It suits him, being a knight I mean. I'm more of a dark horse when it comes to knighthood, but him, it's in his blood. Ironic isn't it? Considering our backgrounds I mean. I guess that just goes to show you what I've been saying all along: having a noble family doesn't make you noble yourself."

Gwaine had only been joking when he had brought up sorcerers, but it struck a chord with Merlin. He should've stayed quiet, but he couldn't. "Do you think it's right what Uther's been doing to the people with magic?"

He observed Gwaine's puzzled expression. "Yes and no. I think Uther has killed hundreds of innocents in the name of fighting magic and his way of dealing with magic users borders on insane, but there _are_ dangerous people out there, and magic is certainly a force to be reckoned with. I've met some people with magic. Some were nice, some tried to kill me. No news there. I've even worked with sorcerers, but they weren't exactly the most reliable sort of people."

Merlin knew he would only hurt himself by continuing, but he asked anyway. "Would you ever truly trust a sorcerer?"

Gwaine, blissfully oblivious of his lover's internal anguish, smacked his lips thoughtfully. "No, I suppose not. Of course, one can never know what will happen in the future, but if I think right now..No, I don't think so." He finally noticed Merlin's face. The boy's expression..he looked like somebody had died just then. He pulled him in his arms to comfort him. "Don't worry, I'm never going to let a sorcerer hurt you."

Merlin fought back the tears and forced his tone to sound cheerful. "Like you'd win against someone like Morgana." Gwaine tickled him in revenge, and then settled to cuddle him. Merlin held on to the man like it was the last time he would ever get to hold him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Let us begin. Start with two."

"Did you see me the last time? I was begging for mercy after just one."

"Don't waste time arguing with me. Get to it."

Oliver sighed and dropped to his knees. He positioned himself and began. To his amazement, he could do two with relative ease. Lancelot tapped him on the shoulder appreciatively. "Well done. Now we wait a while and then you do three."

"I think I can actually do it now", Oliver claimed victoriously. Lancelot knew he'd come to regret his cocky words in a short while, but let Oliver keep his attitude because it amused him.

Indeed, when Oliver tried to perform three, he struggled greatly. His arms were shaking and he collapsed after the third one. "-Or then I can't."

"You're doing better than I expected", Lancelot admitted. "I really thought you wouldn't be able to do that last one."

"Well, I showed you, didn't I?" Oliver remarked, breathing heavily. Lancelot wondered how rare was the ability to feel victorious even when lying on the ground at the feet of another man.

Once Oliver had drunk some water again, Lancelot estimated that he had had enough rest. "Now, do just two."

"Just two?"

"Just two."

Oliver did as he was asked. This time, it wasn't as hard. After resting, he did two again and to finish

off, Lancelot told him to try at least three or more. Oliver managed the three, but that was his limit and he fell. Once his breathing became normal again, Lancelot kneeled to pat him on the back. "That wasn't half bad!"

Oliver got up to stand. "Thanks. Eating dirt never felt so rewarding."

"It shouldn't. You're already much stronger than you were a few days ago."

Oliver realized the man was right. "Thank you. You've helped me so much already."

"Don't thank me, I'm trying to make you quit" Lancelot smiled in an effort to soften the blow of his words.

Oliver was nonetheless taken aback. "W-what?"

"We both know you shouldn't be here. But, while you are, I'm going to make you see why you can never become a knight." Lancelot explained his view on Oliver's presence in Camelot as if he was describing a grocery list to his servant or something else completely normal.

"You are training me to make me quit?" Oliver asked him incredulously.

"Essentially, yes."

Oliver stared at him challengingly for a while. "Well, you better continue. I'll show you."

"I doubt it, but you are welcome to try."

Oliver stuck out his tongue to Lancelot and ran towards the castle. Lancelot smirked as he watched Oliver's back moving further away from him. _This should be fun_.

Gwaine was just about to begin eating when Oliver burst through the door. "Hey, dig in. Merlin is out but he should be back soon." He then saw Oliver's face and laid his plate on the table. "What's wrong?"

"He wants me to quit!" Oliver started pacing, walking in a circle in front of Gwaine and the table. He looked agitated and ready to tear someone's head off.

"Who?"

"Lancelot!"

"And?" Gwaine failed to see the big catastrophe. In his life, the people _not_ believing in him had vastly outnumbered those that _did_ believe in him. That was one of the many reasons he so valued Merlin in his life.

"And? His attitude was just so infuriating!" Oliver mumbled something under his breath that sounded like quite imaginative swear words to Gwaine. Oliver then told Gwaine more or less what Lancelot had said to him. Gwaine sighed. Dinner would have to wait.

"That's the problem with you nobles, you expect people to treat you with respect without earning it." Gwaine's words stopped Oliver's pacing. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he said you would never become a knight, and that you are pretty weak. If you reverse his words, it means 'get stronger, become a knight', no?"

"Yeah?" Oliver agreed, still sounding a bit unsure. His body language was still kind of shaky. "Whatever. I need to blow some steam. Let's wrestle."

Gwaine agreed, as the food appeared to be too hot at the moment anyways, something which had never been a problem before, given that the food in taverns, well, you got lucky if you got it at all, let alone heated. The status of a knight had brought with it some unusual perks.

Merlin entered their chambers bearing a bowl of fruit and saw Gwaine lying on top of Oliver, both sweaty and breathing heavily. His brain shut down. Oliver saw his face and quickly sought to resolve the situation. "It's not what it looks like. I asked Gwaine to wrestle. We had just finished when you came in."

"I'm sure you were", Merlin stiffly replied and place the bowl on the table.

"I'm a virgin, I can't have sex. Let alone with men." Oliver continued, only making matters worse.

"Oliver, just because you haven't, doesn't mean you can't-Whatever. Somebody needs to tell you about the birds and the bees, _badly_", Gwaine said, but after seeing Merlin's scowl, he continued: "But that someone should not be me. Definitely not."

"Let's eat", Merlin said quietly and they all took a seat around the table.

Merlin attempted some polite dinner talk and Oliver told him about his encounter with Lancelot. Merlin was more sympathetic than Gwaine, but Oliver figured it was Gwaine's advice that he should take to heart. It would take a lot of hard work, but eventually he would show Lancelot what he was made of. Quickly after dinner Oliver excused himself, leaving Gwaine alone to deal with Merlin. "So..How mad _are_ you?"

"I believe you." Merlin's words sounded insincere, like he chose to believe Gwaine despite knowing full well he was lying.

"Well, you should, because I'm not lying. Oliver was upset over Lancelot and wanted to wrestle, I enjoy wrestling, so we did it. Wrestle, I mean. Not _it_." Gwaine laughed pitifully. "Now I remember why I haven't had too much luck with love in the past."

Merlin reached out to place his left arm on Gwaine's shoulder. "I believe you", he repeated, this time sounding more sure. "But it wasn't easy seeing that."

"What, are you jealous?" Gwaine asked him teasingly and poked his arm.

"Yes." Merlin's stern gaze took Gwaine by surprise. "I am jealous over Oliver because you enjoy his company, because you fight with him and because sometimes he seems to understand you better than I do."

"Nothing's going to happen with Oliver. He only understands me better sometimes because we're quite alike. He is my friend. He doesn't like me that way, of that I'm sure, and I don't like him that way either. A certain raven-haired fellow however strikes me as very alluring. Would you happen to know if he might be available tonight?" Gwaine teased Merlin, who gave up and flashed him a grin.

"I know all that. It's just that..This is more or less the first time I have had a lover for a longer period of time. About a year ago I fell in love with a girl, but she died shortly after, so we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. I'm not used to being jealous."

Gwaine processed his words. _So, he's been in love before_. Somehow, it seemed better to Gwaine. Less pressure.

"Well you better, because I'm not going anywhere", Gwaine closed the distance between them and gave Merlin a small kiss, which deepened into a more passionate one. They made it to Gwaine's bed and Gwaine took off his shirt, revealing his magnificent chest. Merlin caressed his chest with his hands while Gwaine placed himself between Merlin's legs. All the while kissing the boy, he slid his hand on the other man's thigh until he reached his goal.

Merlin got his usual sensation of flight, but Gwaine sensed it and kissed his jaw. "Let me", he pleaded, and Merlin nodded. At the point where he was, he would've said yes to anything Gwaine had asked.

Almost as quickly as it had started, it was suddenly over. Merlin trembled from pleasure, and Gwaine laid next to him. Despite his satisfied glow, Merlin felt bad because he hadn't done anything in return. "Do you want me to-?" He asked, not even sure of what he was offering.

"No. I'm just glad we've reached this new stage in our relationship."

"But if it's just me that gets to.."

"All in good time." Gwaine got up to put his boots back on. "Next time I'll show you what I can do with my tongue", he said, sticking his tongue out seductively to demonstrate.

The look on Merlin's face! Eyes wide, clearly ready to flee. "I think it will take a long time for us to get _there_", he said, his voice shaking.

"You tell yourself that", Gwaine remarked, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

Merlin looked away to cover his face. He then sighed. _Would you still want me if you knew the truth about me?_ He glanced at Gwaine who waved him goodbye and closed the door behind him, leaving Merlin alone. As he forever would be, if the truth came out.

Soon, it was time for the first of many parties Arthur had decided to arrange to urge his knights to find love. Gwaine took it as an opportunity to laugh his head off at the expense of the other knights and also to spend some time with Merlin. Speaking of spending time with someone, Oliver had been practically glued to Lancelot these past few weeks, and their relationship had become a mixture of reluctant hero worship from Oliver's side (he viewed Lancelot as the perfect knight, and hoped to become a knight like he was one day) and playful antagonism from both of their sides. Earlier on the day of the ball, Oliver had vanished and despite their best efforts to find him, Oliver remained unfound, so Merlin and Gwaine left for the party by themselves.

Merlin and Gwaine entered the hall and were greeted (well, Gwaine was) by other knights who had been expecting Gwaine. After Lancelot, Gwaine was the man the new knights most looked up to for advice. Lancelot arrived shortly after, however, and the knights hurried up to him to follow his example in stead. Gwaine pretended to be wounded by their abandonment and Merlin giggled at his acting.

Arthur came to greet them and told them that the dancing would soon begin. He then hurried off to go save some of the newly-knighted men from embarrassing themselves on the dance floor _before_ it was absolutely necessary. Gwaine watched him go and then turned to Merlin. "I don't dance."

Merlin chuckled. "I think you'll fit right in. Nobody here does."

"This is going to be painful to watch", Oliver remarked and they jumped, as they hadn't noticed his arrival.

"What are you doing here? This is just for knights and ladies."

"And their servants. That's why Merlin is here, isn't it? I'm not quite a servant, not quite a knight, but something between", Oliver pointed to the boy next to him, who in turn tilted his head to Gwaine, signaling _he's got a point_.

"You're here to see Lancelot, aren't you?" Gwaine smirked at his sudden realization.

Oliver opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it. "Maybe."

"Well, he's right there, so go on", Gwaine urged him to Lancelot's direction.

"No, I don't know what to say to him", Oliver protested, but Gwaine had already pushed him hard against Lancelot's back. Lancelot didn't know what hit him, and the two fell on the floor. Lancelot, a trained warrior, took it as an attack and rolled Oliver off his back by using his hand. He then straddled him and raised his hand ready to hit his attacker when he finally recognized him. "Oliver!" He got up, and pulled Oliver up too. He seemed almost scared at what he'd almost done. "I am terribly sorry, I didn't know it was you." His lavish apologies and his genuinely shaken state of mind showed a new side of him to Oliver, who had expected Lancelot to simply brush him off with a _watch where you're going_ or something to that effect. "It's alright, really. What's with you? I thought you wanted me gone."

"Regardless of my feelings about your stay here, it is not right for a knight to hurt an innocent or a woman." Lancelot spoke as if reciting a knight's handbook.

"Just forget about it. It was Gwaine's fault anyway, he pushed me on you."

Lancelot glanced at Gwaine, who snickered and waved to Lancelot as if to say _it was me!_ Lancelot sighed. "Well then. If you are sure, I need to join the dance, as it will shortly begin."

Lancelot was just about to leave, when he heard Oliver mutter 'like you can dance'. "I'm sorry?"

"I said 'like you can dance'", Oliver repeated, louder this time.

"You doubt my skills?" Lancelot remarked, annoyed at Oliver's audacity. "You ought to treat your betters with a little more respect."

"If they really are better, I will", Oliver replied with a challenging tone.

"I'll show you", Lancelot and grabbed him by his wrist, dragging Oliver to the dance floor, joining the other couples already in their positions. He nodded to Arthur. "I'm giving this brat a dance lesson, if you don't mind."

Arthur made a slight motion with his fingers and music began. The piece they danced to was quick-paced and energetic, and the crowd clapped to the music as the couples moved to its rhythm. It was a group dance, and who danced with who hardly mattered, which was fortunate as Lancelot and Oliver stared at each other during the whole dance, challenging one another to jump higher and to turn in an increasing pace, watching to see the other one make a mistake. Oliver knew the steps more than well, as he had been taught in his father's court to be able to dance to almost any song he'd ever encounter. Yet, dancing with Lancelot was more energizing than any dance he'd ever performed before because it felt more like exercising. When the dance finally ended, Oliver found himself standing next to the lady with whom he'd begun the dance. He quickly excused himself and the girl nodded politely, curtsied and left him panting, trying to catch his breath. "And that's how it's done", Lancelot remarked with a victorious tone of voice as he appeared on Oliver's side. Arthur came to congratulate Lancelot. "You'll find yourself a wife in no time if you dance like that in every ball" he told him, making Lancelot's face drop. Arthur noticed this and laid a hand on his shoulder. "But no pressure, alright? I know Gwen and I.."

"It's alright. It will take some time, that's all", Lancelot replied quietly. Oliver, having heard the whole conversation while pretending to still be be recovering from the dance, frowned. As Arthur left to finally get people ready for the first group dance, Oliver approached Lancelot and tapped his arm. "So. You and Gwen?"

"More like Arthur and Gwen", Lancelot corrected him. "Are you going to mock me now?"

"No." Oliver pushed him gently on the side. "I just don't understand why you would want someone who doesn't want you."

"These aren't the kind of things one chooses", Lancelot explained to Oliver, amused by his simplistic attitude.

"Yes they are. You choose not to get over her and find someone else. If you only heard what the women here have been saying about you. You have your pick of any woman here. Except Gwen, of course." Oliver's sincere attempt to comfort him gave Lancelot some hope, though his heart still sometimes ached when he thought of Gwen. "Thank you for your kind words, but maybe I just don't.."

"Silence." Oliver's tone reminded Lancelot of the fact that he was nonetheless of royal blood. "I'll introduce you to some respectable ladies", Oliver grabbed him by his hand and lead him to some noblewomen he knew by name and status. Lancelot smirked but then caught himself, forcing his face to normal.

Merlin observed the festivities safely from a distance. The knights danced awfully for the most part, but there were some surprising exceptions, like Percival, who had no doubt been taught to dance at Oliver's father's court, and Lancelot, who was the best dancer of the evening by any standards. Gwaine had intended to stay away from the dance floor but Arthur had ordered him to take part in the dancing as well. Merlin watched him sympathetically from afar, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at his moves. Gwaine wasn't a bad dancer, but he was clearly an unwilling participant in this particular party, and that affected his dancing as well. Merlin tried to signal him to smile more, but Gwaine didn't notice him. Merlin sighed and settled to watch.

Suddenly he heard some of the women talk not too far away from him."Have you already picked your favorite of the evening?"

"No, it's so hard! They're both so handsome!" replied the other one. Merlin couldn't help but wonder which 'both' they were talking about. Fortunately the next woman who spoke made things rather clear.

"I hear Lancelot's the best knight, Arthur himself has said so, but just _look_ at Gwaine", she sighed.

"But Lancelot dances better", remarked the first one. "He's also very polite _and_ a perfect gentleman."

"You take him, I'll take my chances with Gwaine", the third firmly stated. "Good evening ladies. You shall see that I'll make him propose by the end of this ball", she declared and started making her way towards Gwaine. Merlin knew he had nothing to worry about. Or did he? Earlier, Gwaine had told him that he didn't solely fancy men. _Stop it Merlin, he said he's not going anywhere_. Then a small voice inside his head said _maybe he'd like to spend time with a nice normal girl who doesn't possess a drop of magic_. Merlin forced his mind at ease. Unfortunately he happened to look in Gwaine's direction and saw the girl and the man talking to each other, Gwaine laughing loudly at something she had just said. Merlin forced himself to look elsewhere, and saw Lancelot talking to some noblewomen, coached by Oliver at his side. Lancelot felt his gaze and saw him, excused himself from the ladies' presence and came to Merlin's side. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Merlin.."

"Alright. That girl over there, who's talking to Gwaine? She said she's going to have him propose by the end of this evening."

"And you believe her over Gwaine?"

"Well.."

"Merlin, you have to understand what it's like for women. Their only chance to succeed in life is to marry well. There's no room for love in that deal. Some get lucky, but more often than not, the marriage is less than happy. She sees Gwaine as her ticket to freedom from her parents."

"But what if Gwaine wants her?"

"Merlin, you disappoint me. Haven't you already talked to Gwaine about your jealousy issues?"

"Yes, we talked about it, but that doesn't mean I stopped feeling that way."

Lancelot shook his head and laughed. "You're hopeless."

Merlin threw his hands in the air, giving up. "Fine." He glanced at Oliver, who seemed to be convincing some ladies to come over and talk to Lancelot, judging from the few words Merlin could hear. Merlin smiled, watching the boy's efforts. He then had an idea that he had earlier when he had seen Oliver defend Lancelot when one of the servants had pointed out how rigid the knight could be. Oliver had come close to manhandling the poor man when he at first refused to take back his words. "Oliver seems intent on getting you a wife."

"So it seems." Lancelot's remark was purely factual, but when he saw Merlin's face he was taken aback by the boy's knowing look. "What?"

"Lancelot, considering you are usually the one who notices everything about everyone, you're missing something big." Merlin laughed and went to help Gwen serve the tables. Lancelot eyed at Oliver, who was coming towards them with two ladies. Once at a hearing distance, Lancelot asked Oliver to meet him in the hallway in a moment. He then bowed to the ladies who seemed disappointed at his departure, but curtsied nonetheless politely in return.

A while later in the hallway, Oliver approached Lancelot. "What is it that you want? I had just found the perfect woman for you."

"I feel I should make my intentions clear to you, as the current situation is less than satisfactory."

"Okay?" Oliver braced himself for Lancelot's next words.

"When you got pushed on top of me and I nearly hit you, you asked me why I was so adamant in begging for your forgiveness." Lancelot crossed his hands behind his back.

"Yes, but you explained that already. No hurting innocents."

"You are not making this easy on me, are you?"

"Making _what_ easy on you?"

"Oliver, I know why you can never become a knight."

"This again? I swear, if you don't stop.."

"Stop pretending." Lancelot's words cut him off like a swift arrow. "I told you before. As a knight, I can't hurt an innocent-", he took a breath to pace himself.

"-Or a woman", he finished, fixing his gaze on Oliver, whose expression had turned into one of pure horror.

_End of chapter_

Yes, I **am** evil.

Oliver's exercise plan is from a site which I don't think I can plug here due to ffnet's rules, but I think you will be able to find it by searching with the keywords "hundred" and "push ups". Push ups may or may not have existed in Arthur's era, but let's say for argument's sake that Lancelot had figured it out on his own and it was then simply forgotten until the twentieth century. Plausible? Hardly. What I will go with anyway? You bet.

My view on Lancelot is that of _The mists of Avalon _(Lancelot is in love with Gwen, as he met her first, AND Arthur, but with the latter mostly because he is what Lancelot strives to be), but since Merlin the tv series doesn't even feature Mordred as Morgana's and Arthur's son, I think Lancelot can be different too, and he's not forever destined to pine over Gwen.

And hey, what do you know, that M-rating actually came in handy for once!


	10. Chapter 10

I don't know if you like this new development or not, so let me know.

Remember focalization, otherwise he/her might confuse you when talking about Oliver.

I swear I didn't write this chapter as a response to your comments (because I had this planned), but I do admit I laughed out loud when one of you mentioned that Gwaine has 'at least one fault'. You poor baby.

**Chapter 10**

After the initial shock had worn off, Oliver calmed down. She had known her stay in Camelot would one day come to its end, the day had simply arrived earlier than expected. She placed her hands in her pockets and aimed to look casual, when in reality she was looking for a small knife she carried with her 'just in case'."What happens now?"

"We take you to your father and we return without you."

"And if I refuse?"

"I have already talked to Arthur about how you need to have someone watch over you until we leave. Simply for appearances' sake, of course." Lancelot's smile was all but sincere.

Oliver sighed, and let the knife drop at the bottom of her pocket. _Not yet_. "When do we leave?"

"In four days. Start saying your goodbyes."

Early in the morning, four days later, five riders were ready to head out in front of the castle. Oliver's shoulders were slunk to illustrate his mood, but a tiny glimmer of hope still lived inside her. Once outside Camelot's borders she could make her escape, and she would no longer be considered Camelot's problem, giving her the freedom to continue what she had been doing for the past few years before ending up in Camelot: actually enjoying life. She was already planning her escape plan when they heard a whistle behind them. "Wait!" _Crud_.

Arthur joined their them, stopping his horse as he reached them. "My father told me this is too important a mission for _you_" he looked at Oliver "to not be accompanied by a member of my family, so he's staying to look after the kingdom while I'm gone."

Merlin leaned in to whisper to Arthur. "Are you sure he can handle it?"

Arthur sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than Merlin. "All the other knights are in Camelot if need be, and Gaius and other advisers are there to help him. It will be alright."

Oliver's mood dropped at the sight of Arthur joining them. This would complicate matters. They started moving forward, Percival taking the far lead while Lancelot lead the rest of them. Gwaine, seeing Oliver's foul mood, reached out to give him a friendly push. "Cheer up mate. You'll be back in no time."

Oliver tried to look careless. Apparently only Lancelot and Oliver knew the true purpose of this mission. _For the best, I suppose. I hate long goodbyes_. She would come to miss Gwaine, though. If there was anyone who knew what fun was all about, it was him. She punched him in the arm with a wild smirk on her lips. Gwaine laughed and retaliated, leading into a friendly fight between them, complicated slightly by the fact that they were riding at the same time. Merlin watched sympathetically as they went at it while Arthur ignored them, muttering something about 'knight- and prince-like behavior'. Lancelot however wasn't amused and rode between them, leading Oliver to accidentally punch him on his temple, causing him to fall off his horse. "Lancelot!" Oliver yelped and jumped off her horse to help Lancelot stand. He ignored her apologies and simply got back on his horse. He directed his next words to Gwaine. "I suggest from now you treat our royal guest with more respect." He then rode further along to watch out for potential bandits. Oliver and Gwaine looked at each other and started laughing. The fight continued as soon as Oliver had gotten back on her horse. Arthur shook his head. "They're hopeless. And we're going to have two of them once we get back. For_ever._"

"Starting to regret your promise to him?" Merlin asked him with a playful grin, egged on by Gwaine and Oliver' childish fight.

"Shut up Merlin."

"Suit yourself", Merlin remarked before riding after Lancelot to exchange some words with him. As he passed Gwaine, he touched his arm ever-so-slightly. The subtle move made Gwaine smile but as he turned to face Oliver again, he realized the boy had noticed it too. He could see it by the way Oliver turned his head quickly and fixed his gaze forward . "Oliver.."

"Gwaine, I _know_. It's fine, but you should be more careful when in the presence of a royal prince", Oliver replied without turning to look at him, and Gwaine knew he was talking about Arthur, not himself. Gwaine nodded. Then he pushed Oliver again. They continued their miniature war until they reached a tavern where they could spend the night. Arthur estimated that they wouldn't have the time to reach another village before sunset, but it was still bright outside so they split up to do some sight-seeing. Oliver saw this as her perfect opportunity to flee, when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. "You put on a nice show back there, but you've been down ever since Arthur's ball. What's with you?" Gwaine's concern was genuine so Oliver didn't bother pretending.

"My life is over", she stated, throwing her hands in the air.

"I'll drink to that. Come on, I'll show you the best tavern here." Gwaine said with a smirk.

Somehow, Oliver cheered up a bit at that. "And when you say best.."

"..I mean the cheapest", Gwaine finished with a slight glow in his eyes. It had been a while since he'd gone on a bender, as it wasn't exactly the most knightly thing to do. He smacked Oliver on the back to urge him along. Oliver grinned. "Lead the way."

A couple of hours later Merlin was beginning to wonder where the rest of their envoy had gone. He met Arthur and Percival at the water place. They informed him that bandits had been spotted around the village, and that the others might be in trouble. Merlin's heart was beating fast and he couldn't stop imagining the horrible torture Gwaine and the others might have been going through. They left Percival to look after the horses as they searched for the three remaining members of their group. They saw Lancelot outside of an inn. _At least he's alright_, Merlin rejoiced, hoping that the same applied to Gwaine. They could hear fighting and yelling from outside. They looked at each other. _Oh, Gwaine_, Merlin thought as he, Arthur and Lancelot entered the inn and were presented with quite a sight.

Gwaine and Oliver appeared to have invented a game which involved swords. They were both clearly drunk, and staggered towards each other with a drunken stamina only comprehended by those having experienced it first hand. They were shouting at each other what appeared to be the rules of the game ('five! Now _you_ drink!' and 'three, now I get to hit you!'). The other customers were frightened, but however hard they tried to leave the inn unnoticed by the two (as they weren't sure if they would only hurt each other or others as well), the pair kept moving, so they decided to stay put until it was safe to leave, paralyzed by their fear.

Arthur, Merlin and Lancelot quickly agreed on their game plan and executed it to the letter. First, Lancelot drew his sword and stopped the fight. Second, Arthur paid the innkeeper what the pair owed him. Third, Merlin started dragging Gwaine outside, though he wasn't strong enough so Arthur came to help him. Finally, Lancelot grabbed Oliver in his arms and they exited the establishment, leaving those still inside blinking, unsure whether what they had witnessed had been real or simply an alcohol-induced dream.

Merlin ran to get Percival. Nothing said bedtime like stopping two of your friends from killing each other. In their room, Arthur and Percival placed/threw Gwaine on one of the beds and Merlin went to see if he was alright. He had some bruises on his face but nothing serious. Merlin sighed. He had always suspected that settling into the life of a knight had been more difficult to Gwaine than he had lead on, but he hadn't dared to ask him directly. _It appears I have my answer_.

Lancelot followed them into the room, carrying Oliver. He laid the girl on the bed next to Gwaine's and examined her swollen face. Suddenly the girl stirred. "Lancy?"

"Yes", Lancelot replied. "And don't call me Lancy." He touched the corner of her eye gently. "Did Gwaine do that to you?"

"Naw, we met some otha' fellows befor'. They we'n't tha' nice, but when I show'd 'em my sword..Methinks they wen'away some place."

Lancelot shook his head. "You should not drink like that."

Oliver took a very odd position and then spoke in a voice that annoyed Lancelot to no end. "'Cause it's not proper for a ladiiiiiiii?"

Lancelot took a long breath. _I hate drunk people_. "I don't think Gwaine should drink like that either."

"What was that last bit?" Arthur had heard them. Lancelot prepared himself to lie to him, but he didn't stop Oliver in time.

"Ask Lancy. He knows allllll about this secret mission. In fact, he's the only one who knows the whole thing.." Oliver trailed off as she noticed that Gwaine was stirring too. "Hey, four, I hit you now!" she yelled and took a swing at Gwaine, who jumped on top of Oliver and they resumed their brawl. Lancelot and Percival separated them and Lancelot placed Oliver on one of the beds further away from Gwaine to keep them separate. Merlin sat next to Gwaine and touched his forehead. "How do you feel?"

"I feel great now, but I imagine I won't feel the same tomorrow." Gwaine rubbed his temples with his forefingers. "That's better."

They saw Arthur arguing with Lancelot but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. "'tis about me. Arthur is ma-had at Lancy", Oliver stretched the word like it gave her pleasure, but really she just couldn't say it properly.

"Why?" Merlin approached him. Oliver raised her finger on her mouth like covering a secret, so Merlin gave up. "Come on, let's get you out of those clothes. You both reek." He grabbed Oliver's collar to help him undress when Percival stopped him. "I'll do it. You help Gwaine."

Merlin shrugged and turned back to Gwaine, who seemed more than eager to get undressed in front of him. Merlin found it difficult to concentrate on his task when presented with Gwaine's naked body. However, as Arthur and a group of other people were right next to him, he proceeded to clothe the man with the spare clothes he had brought along. Gwaine sniveled, clearly disappointed, but Merlin ignored him. After his initial feeling of worry for the man's well being had worn off, he had realized he was quite cross with the man. Granted, Oliver was a friend of theirs so it didn't seem that serious, but this was an official quest they were on. Usually Merlin had simply laughed off things like this, but this time he'd been genuinely scared for the man, and to find him in a state of half an inn in his stomach had turned that worry into anger.

Gwaine remained oblivious about his inner turmoil and grabbed him from behind. "This is fun."

Merlin ignored him and got up from the bed. He walked up to Arthur and Lancelot. "Is everything alright?" As he saw Arthur's face, his question seemed to become a rhetorical one. "Merlin, take care of Gwaine while we talk, alright?" Lancelot asked him, his expression indicating that he and Arthur really needed a moment alone. Merlin returned to Gwaine's side to note that the man had passed out. Arthur seemed to be yelling at Lancelot, who looked ashamed. Merlin pretended to fluff Gwaine's pillow as he shot sideway glances at Arthur and Lancelot, who seemed to have finally come to an agreement.

"So? What's going on?" Merlin asked.

Arthur didn't meet his gaze, a clear indicator that he was lying. "Nothing, we were simply discussing the best route to the Perilous lands."

"And you couldn't do that in front of us because..?"

"Shut up Merlin."

"Okay then."

"We're all pretty tired, and these two are down for the count, so we might as well get some sleep now." Arthur's statements seemed like orders. He was practically a king already.

"Who's down?" Oliver asked, suddenly grabbing Lancelot's hand. "Are you in rubble? Turbule. Tarbule?"

"It's 'trouble'", Lancelot corrected her, "and it's nothing you need to bother yourself with."

Oliver nodded and passed out after a moment of waving aimlessly at the people in the room.

"Finally."

The next morning they woke up with feelings that varied from shame (from Oliver's part) to angry (Arthur and secretly Merlin at Gwaine AND Oliver) and ignorance from Gwaine, as he was still asleep. Merlin finally woke him up with a well-aimed kick on his side (it was still the gentler option when compared to what Arthur had in mind). "Ow! Merlin, what're you-"

Now that they were all awake, Oliver bowed her head deeply in front of everyone. "I am so very ashamed of my actions the evening before. I hope you will find it in your hearts to find some sympathy for me."

At Oliver's words, Gwaine suddenly remembered last night, or at least flashes of it. Arthur appeared behind him and smacked him on the back of his head, hard. "I have never been so ashamed of a knight before in my life", he claimed, then proceeded to scold him in a manner that was usually only reserved to Merlin. After he was done, Gwaine apologized as well. It was a new situation for him, people having expectations for him.

When the ambiance of the room was finally returning to normal, he looked at Oliver. "Why didn't you get hit in the head?"

"Because Oliver is of royal blood", Arthur quickly replied, a little too quickly not to rouse Merlin's suspicions.

"If it makes you feel better, you can hit me. I think I deserve it", Oliver offered, and Gwaine reached out but before he could touch Oliver, Lancelot grabbed his arm instead. "Do not lay your hand on him."

Gwaine was taken aback, but nodded nonetheless and Lancelot let go. "Sheesh, suddenly you are Royal with a capital aRse."

"My life's story." Oliver sighed and they all made their way downstairs to break fast.

As they were taking their seats, Gwaine playfully poked Merlin and expected him to respond likewise, but the boy pushed him back, visibly angry. He then sat as far away from him as possible. Gwaine frowned. This would not be a good day.


	11. Chapter 11

-I think I'm just going to go ahead and use all aspects of the M-rating except swearing.

-If I ever had any doubts about Oliver's usefulness to this story, this chapter proved them all wrong.

-Merry Christmas everybody! Sorry to leave you like this. I'll post the next chapter after Christmas.

Hopefully I won't die in a plane crash on either one of my flights, otherwise updating will become increasingly difficult.

-Welcome to the deleted scenes-portion of the fic (this has nothing to do with the actual chapter, it is a draft that I cut from this/last chapter):

To his surprise, Lancelot approached him later to ask how he was. "Is Merlin still mad?"

"Seems so. Any advice you'd like to share?"

"Unfortunately no. I was always surprised about you two getting together anyway."

"How so?"

"The ultimate 'responsibilities first' type of man and the 'extremely irresponsible but somehow still possesses some redeeming qualities' type of man get together and expect it to work automatically?"

"I guess it is a little far-fetched."

"Not really. You balance each other. Right now he's mad at you, in fact furious with you, but it will pass."

"You are not too bad at giving advice, you know."

"I know."

"Stuck up."

"Drunk."

**Chapter 11**

Breaking fast with a group of people who were still more or less furious with him wasn't exactly Gwaine's idea of a good time, but he figured he should endure it as a part of his long process of becoming responsible...starting right then and there.

Halfway through breakfast, Oliver excused herself, telling them she'd return in a bit. While others hardly noticed, Lancelot stomped after her and returned to the table dragging her after him. Oliver elbowed him on the stomach and Lancelot threw her balance by a sudden move and tightened his grip. Merlin, still angry with Gwaine, suddenly awoke from his dark mood and stared at the couple. "What are you guys doing?"

"He tried to escape", Lancelot stated and sat Oliver next to him on the bench. Oliver growled.

"Why would you do that?" Gwaine asked what they were all thinking. Oliver scowled but remained silent. Lancelot answered for her. "Isn't it obvious? He doesn't want to go back."

"And we're still taking him because..?" Merlin asked. Forcing people to go somewhere against their will didn't seem like the type of mission he was used to with Arthur.

"Because if we don't, and his father finds out where he's been, he's going to declare war on Camelot", Arthur explained in a melancholy tone. He didn't like this any more than Merlin did.

"Actually, we're not in Camelot anymore, so you can release me without any harm being done. I'll go and wreak havoc in another kingdom", Oliver offered them with a big smile that convinced no one.

"It's our responsibility now to take you back to your father unharmed, and that's what we're going to do." Arthur was unwavering.

"I implore you, let me go."

"No."

"Then you leave me no choice." Suddenly they noticed the knife Oliver was holding to Merlin's throat. Merlin's eyes went wide but he tried to remain calm. After all, it wasn't the first time he had been threatened like this. The others were startled and their initial reaction was to reach for their swords, but Oliver saw them. "Don't even think about it, or Merlin gets it." She started getting up and pushed Merlin a little to make him do the same. They made their way to the door. Oliver turned to the remaining members of their group. "I suggest you stay put until Merlin walks back here to get you. Otherwise this might become unpleasant for everyone involved."

Outside, Oliver observed that Lancelot and the others had obeyed her and weren't coming after them, and relaxed. She let the knife drop on her side and she and Merlin settled for walking. "I am terribly sorry about that. It's just that I really can't go back, and those guys really want me to. I used you for my own gain, and for that I'm sorry. Oh, and for the whole thing about me threatening your life."

Merlin grinned. "That's okay. It's not my first time, but I think it's the first time someone actually apologized to me for doing that."

"You have a hard life. No wonder you and Gwaine are together. You need some fun in your life."

Merlin jumped. "What?"

"Don't worry, only I know. And Lancy."

Merlin looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"If you are going to keep seeing him, you need to develop a better poker face." Oliver laughed.

"I don't know if I am, actually."

"Why? Is it because of last night, the stint at the inn? That was actually my fault. He was trying to cheer me up. And succeeded", Oliver defended her friend and flashed Merlin a wide smile that was slightly crooked due to her bruised face.

"It doesn't matter who started it. I just hadn't considered that it would be so hard for him."

"'It' being.."

"I don't know. Being with me. Staying in one place. Being a knight."

"I loved being on the road, but I eventually settled in Camelot. For a few weeks, at least. He can do it too. He's just rusty, that's all." Oliver poked Merlin. "You are taking this way too seriously. How long have you been in love?"

"We're not officially in love."

"Then when was the first time you kissed?"

"A while back, but we didn't much talk after that."

"Merlin, you are killing me. When did you get 'together', then?"

"Three weeks, maybe a month ago", Merlin said and realized that the time had seemed a lot longer.

"Exactly. You want marriage and kids before you have even talked about, well, anything."

"Maybe you are right. It was just one night, right?" Merlin tilted his head as he wondered if he might have over-reacted. They arrived to their horses and Merlin watched as Oliver got up on her horse.

"Exactly. If you dump him at the first sign of trouble, he might not bounce back that easily." Oliver sighed. "He's really into you, you know. Your feelings for him are not the same, and he knows that, but just..take care of him, alright?"

"I will. I don't know if I love him, but I do care for him", Merlin said and reached his arm out to shake Oliver's hand. "No hard feelings, eh?"

"Just give me a solid five minute head start. Lancy won't be pleased, but I'd really appreciate it." Oliver laughed and urged her horse to start walking.

"You should stay in Camelot. You could be with Lancelot", Merlin left his words ambiguous for a reason.

"No. They were right, I'm endangering too many lives by staying with you." Oliver touched her imaginary hat. "Goodbye." She squeezed her legs against the magnificent creature and the horse started trotting.

As Oliver disappeared into the horizon, Merlin waited for a while before beginning his walk back to the inn. He estimated that he had waited sufficiently for Oliver to safely escape to wherever the man was headed. As he arrived at the inn, he was greeted by his friends who all walked outside at the sight of him.

Arthur walked over to him and immediately started pestering him. "Where did he go? Did you see the direction he was going in?"

"No, sorry, he left me lying on the ground on my stomach so I couldn't see anything."

"Well did you at least hear something?"

"No, sorry."

"You really are useless, aren't you Merlin?" As Merlin watched Arthur scold him, he realized he had almost missed being Arthur's servant. Almost. Watching over the man had been easier in his previous occupation as his manservant.

Gwaine stopped Arthur's rant. "It's not his fault. Oliver would've escaped one way or another."

"How do you know?"

"He just seems like the type", Gwaine grinned and everyone thought _like you, you mean_.

"Where's Lancelot?" Merlin asked, unable to see the man among the others.

"He's tracking Oliver down as we speak. We figured it would be easier if only one of us went."

"You actually sent him after us? What if Oliver had actually killed me?" Merlin pretended to look appalled.

"Oliver's your friend. At best he would have scratched you." Arthur had known that Oliver would not have really hurt Merlin, otherwise he wouldn't have let Lancelot go after the two. Merlin didn't need to know that, however.

Merlin pretended to be wounded by Arthur's cold words. He then turned his head into the direction from which he had come and hoped Lancelot wouldn't catch Oliver in time.

Unfortunately, no such luck had befallen Oliver. In under an hour they were all staring at Oliver, who had her back against a large stone. They were in the middle of nowhere, so Oliver's chances of meeting someone who could actually help her were between slim and none, though it seemed unlikely that passers-by would help her over Arthur Pendragon anyway.

"Cousin, give up. Your father misses you." Percival's reasoning consisted of short phrases only glued together by the intense look in his eyes.

"I send him a letter every month. He knows I'm fine." Oliver blew his arguments to the wind. "You know perfectly well that the only reason he wants me back is so he can give me to that disgusting.." She grew quite because she couldn't find any polite words to describe her subject.

"It's your responsibility", Percival stated.

"When a man who is three times your size tries to poke _your_ insides out, we can start talking about responsibilities, but before that, you better be quiet."

The others turned to look at Percival, who looked ashamed, and Arthur and Lancelot started to guess why Oliver had run off in the first place. Merlin and Gwaine, however, were completely at a loss as to what they were talking about. Percival struggled with Oliver's bluntness. "Surely he didn't.."

"Not yet, but that's what it would be!" Oliver crossed her arms.

Arthur coughed. "As having been in a similar situation, I understand your predicament, but responsibilities are what they are."

"First off, Merlin told me that Elena was actually quite beautiful. The man waiting for me is not handsome, not intelligent, not even funny. I tried to find one redeeming quality about him, but there simply isn't any." Oliver paused to breath. "Secondly, _you_ broke off your engagement."

Arthur, suddenly awkward, looked to his side. "Well.."

"Why would your father want you with a man? I'm kind of confused here", Merlin asked.

"Ditto", Gwaine raised his finger to include himself into the 'what's going on here'-club.

"Oliver's a woman", Arthur stated. Gwaine and Merlin turned to look at each other and started laughing. Arthur was annoyed and told them to stop. Merlin covered his mouth but couldn't stop giggling. Gwaine punched him in the arm. "See Merlin, we've been living with a woman all this time!"

Gwaine then turned to look at Oliver, expecting him to join them and laugh along. Oliver however had a difficult expression on her face. "Well.."

Gwaine and Merlin looked at each other again and they didn't laugh this time around. _Oops_.

Lancelot, the one who had initially cornered Oliver, grew restless. "Let's just continue onwards. We have what we came for. The Perilous lands are next." Oliver sprinted to get away but Lancelot grabbed her. Oliver struggled to break free. "You are really not letting me go, are you?"

Arthur and Lancelot shook their heads. Percival simply stared at her as Oliver knew what his answer would be. Oliver briefly estimated the situation. Merlin and Gwaine seemed confused and not at all sure, but as they served the two men intent on keeping Oliver with them, they wouldn't be of much assistance. Oliver still had the small knife in her pocket while the bigger one she had used to threaten Merlin had already been confiscated by Lancelot. If she went with them now, they would probably take the smaller knife away from her too. She wouldn't get another chance like this. Waiting until her father's castle wasn't a safe option as it entailed too many uncertainties. This was it. She briefly considered whether her body being found in these parts would cause any problems for the kingdoms surrounding them, but to her joy she remembered that right then and there they were, for all intents and purposes, on no man's land.

"Farewell, gentlemen." Her voice was suddenly very soft. "Merlin, I meant what I said." Merlin heard his name spoken and looked up to Oliver just in time to see her slit her throat.

Merlin got to her first. "Oliver!"

Arthur started shouting at him. "Merlin! Fix her!"

"Oh, so suddenly I'm not useless anymore?"

"Merlin-!"

Afterwards, it was difficult to say exactly what had followed her act and especially in what order. Lancelot and Merlin's eyes met. Merlin nodded and Lancelot grabbed Arthur and Percival.

"Quick, you must fetch him some water so he can treat her!" He practically pushed them along (or more precisely Percival, as he could never treat Arthur in that fashion).

Lancelot then grabbed Gwaine and told him they needed to go gather fire wood for the fire so they could heat the water. Considering the situation, nobody had the time to argue him, and Merlin was left alone with Oliver. She was bleeding quite heavily which wasn't a surprise considering that that had been her intention exactly. He prayed to the gods that his magic would work this time. He whispered the words, then shouted them. Suddenly he got a surge of power and he touched her neck and began repairing her damaged skin. He had never gotten this far before. Sooner than he expected, he was done and she started breathing normally again. Merlin gave the unconscious girl a relieved smile.

He waited for a while, but none of the knights were returning, so he grew impatient. _Maybe I should fix her bruises too. What's the harm?_ If anyone would ask, he would just say it was the ointment that he would now be forced to prepare for show when the knights would finally return.

He touched her neck again and muttered the words needed. Apparently, however, he had worn out his powers when healing her neck, so nothing happened. He tried again, with better luck, as the bruises faded a little. He laughed victoriously when he heard someone approach him.

"Merlin.." The words of warning escaped from Lancelot's lips a moment too late. Merlin recognized his voice and raised his head to smile at him, only to see Gwaine at his side.


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry guys, I couldn't hold it in any longer. Maybe you aren't too sorry, but anyhow. I have written this story to its finish, so it actually has an ending unlike my other stories, yay. The next chapter inspired me to write a filthy, filthy mini-fic that you'll see later.

**Chapter 12**

The expression on Gwaine's face said it all. Merlin's mind started racing. _He saw my eyes glow. He saw me use magic_. Lancelot had a worried look on his face. Gwaine glanced at him, then stared at Merlin again. Merlin tried to think of some plausible lies he could tell the man, but he couldn't come up with anything. He had been caught red-handed (literally, as he had Oliver's blood in them). He settled to wait for Gwaine's reaction. Minutes passed, and finally it was too much for Merlin to bear. He opened his mouth to speak, but Gwaine got to it first. "You light the fire while I pile the wood in place", he said to Lancelot. He started piling the branches and sticks on top of each other to form a square. He then proceeded to cut up some tree bark and placed the pieces in the middle of the square. Lancelot, aware of the awfulness of the situation, stayed quiet and lit the fire. Soon Arthur and Percival arrived with water and Merlin feigned to cook up a potion to somehow help Oliver. Arthur nearly ruined everything by examining Oliver's neck himself. "She doesn't look like she's dying or even hurt. Where was the wound again?"

Merlin felt guilty and glanced at Gwaine, who remained silent. Lancelot saved him. "Merlin examined her and it turns out it wasn't as serious as we thought. Most of the blood is from her nose which she hit accidentally while attempting the act."

Arthur looked at Gwaine as if for verification. The man returned his gaze and shrugged. Arthur took that as a 'sure' and moved on to other things, but Merlin wasn't sure if Gwaine had intentionally protected him or was simply waiting for a better moment to out him.

Merlin started thinking about what the fact that Gwaine knew about him now would mean. If Gwaine told Arthur about him, he'd be finished. Done. He could never go back to serving Arthur, and therefore not protect him when he needed it. Additionally, he'd probably be put to death, but that was an issue of a personal, not cosmic importance. _Speaking of personal issues, isn't the biggest consequence here the fact that he won't care for you like he used to?_ A small voice inside Merlin whispered. He winced: he hadn't wanted to think that far ahead.

He had known Gwaine would find out some day, but he had kept on hoping that, once gifted with the information, the man would simply laugh it off. This silent treatment scared him. He had no idea what the man was thinking. He felt sick and he wanted to throw up. He was going through all kinds of different scenarios in his head, all involving Gwaine telling Arthur his secret and ruining him.

"Serious or not, we should get her to a tavern or something similar. It's going to rain soon."

After Lancelot's initial seize of power at Oliver's time of need, Arthur had resumed leadership and was the one giving orders again.

As they rode on, Merlin tried to talk to Gwaine, but the man only gave short replies and ignored any attempts to bring up what had happened earlier. Merlin felt worse than he had ever felt before. He looked at the man riding next to him. _I knew you would hate me, but I didn't know you would despise me as well_.

They made their way to a small nearby village. They spent the night there. In the morning, Oliver awoke. She pretended to still be asleep and stretched her arms and legs to see if they were still functioning. She didn't know why she wasn't dead, but that didn't matter: she would need to find a way to get out of Lancelot's reach.

While the others stayed to watch over Oliver, Gwaine told them he'd find them something to eat. After a moment's hesitation, Merlin ran after him.

"Wait."

"I can get food by myself. It's a very _ordinary_ task." It was obvious to what he referred when Gwaine used the word 'ordinary. He was acting distant and the cold tone of his voice hurt Merlin's feelings.

"I know what you are thinking, but-" Merlin tried, but Gwaine cut him off.

"Really? Then please tell me, because I sure as hell don't."

Arthur had felt he needed to stretch his legs a bit after riding, so he had followed Gwaine and Merlin to accompany them on their search for food. Once he saw them, he noticed that something was wrong between those two. They weren't yelling at each other, but something was definitely off. Then, out of nowhere, Arthur saw Merlin actually take a swing at Gwaine, which was already odd enough on its own, but what followed baffled him even further: Gwaine cowered away from him. Merlin seemed equally confused. Gwaine got up and seemed about to say something, but Merlin just left him there and ran off. Arthur walked up to Gwaine. "What was that about?"

Gwaine shrugged and they started walking.

"Gwaine, I'm serious. If there is a problem among my people, I want to know."

"My personal problems with Merlin don't concern you."

"Fine, be that way. But Gwaine.." Arthur started, and Gwaine turned to look at him.

"Don't ever let me see you cringe in hear in front of someone as small as Merlin again." Arthur tried antagonizing him into telling him his problem, but to no avail. Gwaine opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again.

Arthur grew annoyed with the man because whenever he tried to question him on his and Merlin's row, the man closed up completely. Finally he left the man alone and decided to try his luck with Merlin, who no doubt would prove to be more talkative. Of course, him making Merlin talk required actually finding him first, and that proved somewhat difficult despite the small size of the village.

Arthur gave up after a while and returned to the inn. Gwaine returned as well, carrying enough food to last them a week. They started eating. Oliver was still sleeping off the effects of Merlin's healing and the condition that had required his help to begin with, or so they thought. Merlin returned soon after they had started eating and hungrily joined them. Immediately after he walked into the room, the atmosphere of the room changed. Even though Gwaine and Merlin didn't even look at each other, all of them (with the exception of Oliver of course), including Percival could feel that something was wrong. Lancelot and Arthur looked at each other, then pretended to look interested in their meals.

Little did they know that Oliver was wide awake and busy preparing for her great escape. As something seemed to be up with Gwaine and Merlin which distracted the others as well, she sincerely thanked the duo mentally for their help. She suddenly leaped through the window, landing on the inn's roof. She started running, which hurt as she was bare-footed, but she didn't care. She hurd a crack behind her and turned to see Lancelot follow her. She reached the edge of the roof. Nowhere to go but down.

"Don't!" Lancelot shouted. "You will only hurt yourself."

"That's kind of the point, isn't it?" Oliver mock-saluted him in goodbye and jumped.

Lancelot ran to the edge. He saw that Oliver had grabbed the hooks that were used by merchants to set up their carts and was quickly making her way down the wall.

Oliver ran. Just when she thought she might have pulled it off this time, she ran into Lancelot who had by some miracle appeared in front of her. She was frustrated and out of breath. Lancelot was also breathing heavily. Oliver had reached her limit: no more trying to escape the polite way. She formed a fist and punched Lancelot in his jaw. "Let me _go_!"

The impact of the blow forced Lancelot to turn his head to his side, but he quickly recovered and took a step towards Oliver. "I can't do that."

Oliver got ready to try again, but Lancelot grabbed her arm. Oliver tried to kick him, but Lancelot shook her to make her lose her balance and she fell to the ground. She covered her face with her hands. "I _died_. Not even death is enough to make me escape my fate."

Lancelot quickly grew annoyed with her defeated attitude. It didn't become Oliver. "Women have married awful husbands since forever. Don't think you are the first."

"I'm not. I'm just saying I won't become one of them." Oliver threw her legs behind his, tackling him to the ground. She was about to sprint behind the one of the houses of the village when Lancelot grabbed her by her neck. "Fine, choke me. See if I care", Oliver hissed through her clenched teeth.

"Do you get off on pain or am I just an exception?" Lancelot asked rhetorically. Oliver scowled at him and Lancelot dragged her back to the inn. The others watched him with uneasy expressions as he tied Oliver to the bed. "And stay there!"

"Why am I not dead? What did you do to me?" Oliver had a wild look in her eyes. Her questions would put Merlin in a difficult position as they would contradict the lie Lancelot had fabricated to cover for him.

"You hit your nose, genius, and Merlin patched you up. Quit being a drama queen", Lancelot hurried to his rescue as Arthur started looking suspicious again.

Unfortunately for him, Oliver wasn't fooled that easily. "I did no such thing and you know it. Now tell me what you did!"

"Calm down", Percival begged her. Oliver muttered something under her breath but then settled down. Merlin nearly cried of relief.

The group resumed eating and Gwaine quietly filled up a plate for Oliver as well. Even though Oliver's attempt to escape had brought a welcome change in the atmosphere, the foul ambiance returned with a vengeance and Oliver could tell Merlin and Gwaine were at the center of it. Apparently she had missed more than she had initially thought.

Once they had finished, Merlin excused himself under the pretense of running some errand for Arthur. As Merlin vanished through the door, Lancelot blinked, then told the others he'd go out too.

Merlin had moved quickly. Lancelot had to run to catch up to him, but suddenly Merlin stopped and sat under a tree. Lancelot followed him and sat next to him, giving the boy a little bit of space between them. Merlin hugged his knees.

"Merlin."

That was all that was needed. It seemed as if a wall had been broken inside him and the boy started crying. "He's afraid of me. _Me_!" He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing.

Lancelot didn't know what to do. He awkwardly tapped Merlin's shoulder as the boy sniveled and wiped away his tears. "He is just overwhelmed. Give him time."

"You were fine with it", Merlin pointed out.

"I wasn't sleeping with you."

"How is that a factor?"

"Well, if I found out that the woman I loved was more powerful than me, it would change things."

"Lancelot, you are too conservative", Merlin laughed and then sneezed. "Good for Oliver then, if she isn't better than you with a sword, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lancelot looked appalled and Merlin chuckled.

"Right.."

"Anyway, think about it. Up until now, he's thought of you as a scrawny guy who gets pushed around by those bigger than him. Suddenly, he gets the information that you have the power to hurt or possibly even kill without even touching people. Like I said, it can be a bit overwhelming."

Merlin seemed unconvinced and Lancelot grinned. "Merlin, you are so used to keeping secrets that you don't remember how to share those secrets with the people that love you. He likes you, he expects to know these types of things about you."

Merlin thought for a moment. "Well, he refuses to talk to me so there's nothing I can do for him right now."

"Like I said: give him time." It was starting to rain again, so they returned to the inn.

Meanwhile, Arthur struck up a conversation with Percival, or at least tried to, as the man was acting like a mute. _What is it with everyone today? _Arthur thought.

They spoke quietly so Oliver wouldn't hear them. Arthur went first. "Is the man Oliver is expected to marry really that awful?"

"He is the son of a king", Percival declared as if to give the official answer. Then, using a more relaxed tone of voice, he added: "but if I were Oliver, I'd kill myself too before marrying him. He is positively dreadful."

"But you think we should take her back regardless?"

"Yes." Percival offered no explanations or excuses. Orders were orders. Arthur respected that, but had a feeling he would one day come to regret the same attitude.

Arthur shook his head and turned to look at Gwaine. "Do you think we should take her back?"

"No." Gwaine had hardly spoken since his brawl with Merlin. Arthur sighed. _I should just stop trying_.

Merlin and Lancelot returned a while later. If possible, Merlin looked more awful than before. He sat on the opposite side of the room, as far away from Gwaine as possible. Lancelot still looked worried for him and he kept looking from Gwaine to Merlin and then back again. Percival pretended that he wasn't even there with them. Gwaine stared at the floor with an indecipherable expression on his face. The atmosphere could not have been worse.

Finally, Arthur had had enough. "Lancelot, Percival, look after Oliver. You two are coming with me." He motioned Gwaine and Merlin to follow him. They obeyed him, as he looked at them as if he would be prepared to hurt them if they didn't.

Arthur lead them to a peaceful location and then told them to stop. He didn't care if it rained and the two would get pneumonia, anything was better than this. "I don't know what is wrong with you two, and quite frankly I don't care. Everyone can see that something's wrong. Until you've settled this thing between you, I don't want to see either one of you. I'll be back at the inn in case you decide to man up and make up", he retorted and left them there.

Merlin crossed his hands behind his back and glanced at Gwaine nervously. Gwaine was staring in Arthur's direction, his back to Merlin. Merlin was still afraid of him and what he might do. Usually when he was feeling sad and alone, he turned to Gwaine. Would it still work if the man was the cause of those feelings?

He had to try. He wrapped his arms around Gwaine's body from behind. "Just please, talk to me." He hadn't realized how cold he had felt until he pressed against the man's warm body. He rested his head on Gwaine's back and revelled in the moment. His brief moment of happiness was interrupted when Gwaine grabbed his left arm and broke his hold on him. While still holding onto Merlin's arm, he positioned the boy to face him and then let go. Merlin covered his face with his hands. He felt like crying again.

"Don't", Gwaine told him, having guessed what he was about to do. "I never wanted to be the cause of your unhappiness."

"You don't know how scared I have been." Merlin uttered the words like they were his final words before his execution. The rain stopped. _Maybe it's a good sign_. He still had some hope of reconciliation.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I after you told me that you would never truly trust a sorcerer because they are not reliable in your opinion?"

"And you think keeping this a secret from me would somehow improve my view?" Gwaine retorted and Merlin's face fell. He looked like he had been stabbed with a knife. Gwaine cursed himself for having caused this situation. "Agh. I didn't mean that. Just.."

Merlin looked at him, praying that the man would just take him into his arms and make him forget about the past few days. Gwaine seemed to be trying to gather his thoughts. "Merlin, I don't have a problem with magic. But. I have absolutely no idea what to think. I understand. Kind of. You kept this from me because you wanted to protect yourself. You weren't laughing at me behind my back. I know that, too. I just..I don't understand."

"Why would I laugh behind your back?" Merlin asked incredulously.

"Because apparently I didn't make the cut to your 'secret club'."

"It's not exactly something I tell everyone."

"Just Lancelot, then?" Merlin's face went white, but he strived to stay calm. Gwaine continued. "I saw his face when we saw you do your thing. He wasn't even fazed by it."

"I didn't tell him. He guessed."

"Well, _that_ I will believe, considering he sees everything about everyone. But Merlin, what bothers me the most.." Gwaine brought his face close to his, close enough for them to kiss. He looked more vulnerable than Merlin had ever seen him. Merlin wasn't used to seeing him like that and he instinctively raised his hand on his cheek to comfort him. "What?" He whispered, preparing to sink into a kiss with the man he had so desperately missed. Gwaine returned his gaze and looked as if his heart was about to be broken.

"Which one are you more scared of: me leaving you, or me telling Arthur?"


	13. Chapter 13

Check my stories to find a fic based on the beginning of this chapter.

**Chapter 13**

"What?" Merlin was taken aback and staggered away from the man. He couldn't think when Gwaine was breathing on him like that.

"These past few days you've looked more afraid than I've ever seen you. I made you feel that way. Finally, we find ourselves alone and you throw yourself at me? Makes me think.."

Merlin's body went numb. "What?"

Gwaine hesitated. "..that it wouldn't be out of character for you to use your body to silence me, if it was to protect your destiny at Arthur's side."

"You think I would.." He paused. "You think I would prostitute myself to.." Merlin's voice trailed away. It was too awful to say out loud.

Gwaine rubbed his forehead.

"I love you." Gwaine's heartfelt words took Merlin by surprise and left him gaping. "You don't love me, that I know, and what is most important to you is protecting Arthur, that I know too. If I were to come between that destiny, you would dispose of me." Gwaine looked away at that final statement. Merlin saw that he really believed that to be true. Gwaine's face was distorted with the regret and the loss that were sure to follow this conversation. The man looked very unlike himself. Gwaine used to be so care free when he and Merlin met. What had happened? Merlin thought for a moment. _I happened_.

Merlin formed his thoughts into a question, just to make sure. "Do you honestly believe that?"

"Answer my question, then."

Merlin looked at the man's anguished face. It was obvious this wasn't the first time Gwaine had thought about asking the very same question. Merlin realized that behind his laughter Gwaine had a very soft core. Being with him meant feeding all the insecurities the man had. Merlin's life had been divided between his destiny and Gwaine ever since they had met. Maybe it would be better for all parties involved if they stopped their affair. Especially Gwaine. _Being with the one you love is supposed to make you happy. Being with me has made you sad, so we must be doing something wrong_. " His insides hurt as he pretended to chuckle. "I guess I was wrong to kiss you back then."

Gwaine, suddenly seeming more like himself, lightly punched him in the arm to ease the atmosphere. Breaking up was his specialty. "Well, we all make mistakes", he grinned, though still visibly upset.

They briefly discussed the terms of the dissolution of their relationship. They would still remain friends, but Merlin would go back to serving Arthur because it would be too hard for them to spend that much time together immediately after their parting. Though they were both upset, they eased into being the kind of friends they were before Gwaine had kissed him and walked back to their friends seeming normal again. Arthur came to greet them and patted them on their backs to show his satisfaction over their apparent reconciliation. Lancelot, Percival and Oliver all looked relieved that the tense atmosphere from before seemed all but gone. Gwaine and Merlin changed clothes for dry ones as the ones they had on were completely wet. It had started raining again just as Merlin and Gwaine had arrived, and the local people had told Arthur it was likely that the rain would come and go for a few days. Fearing that traveling in the midst of rain wouldn't be too healthy for Oliver as she was still recovering from her suicide attempt, Arthur told them that they would stay in the village for another day and wait for the weather to improve.

Things were still a little awkward between Merlin and Gwaine. Whenever they crossed each other's paths, they apologized and then stared at each other, not knowing what to do. Lancelot noticed this and took Merlin out for a walk while the others stayed to guard Oliver. Now that she was awake again, she was not to be trusted.

"So, how did it go? You seem better than before. At least a little."

"We are. We broke off the affair", Merlin replied staring straight ahead as they walked.

"What?" Lancelot stopped in his tracks. He then hurried to catch up to his friend. "Why?"

"He wasn't happy with me. Now that we're not together anymore, he should be able to become happy."

"Happiness, shmappiness. He loves you."

"Exactly. He wants more than I can give. My responsibilities lie with Arthur. There is no room for Gwaine, so it's better I cut him loose and let him find someone who can make him happy."

"And you?"

Merlin blinked. "I'll be fine." He didn't sound particularly convinced.

Meanwhile at the inn, Gwaine asked Arthur to come and talk to him a little further away from the wonder cousins.

Arthur walked up to Gwaine. "What is it?"

"Like you told us to, I made up with Merlin", Gwaine repeated the cover story he and Merlin had devised. "However, things are still a bit awkward between us."

"Well, considering how you were before, I suppose it makes sense", Arthur, smooth as ever, elbowed him in a feeble effort to comfort him.

"You are nasty to him all the time. How do you make up for it?" Gwaine's words were genuine, and that was exactly why Arthur was offended by them. "I am not nasty to him. I'm just teaching him to be a better servant."

Gwaine ignored him. "You think I should get him flowers?"

"Those are for women."

"A poem?"

"Girly again."

"A tankard of mead?"

"Now you're in the right category, but aim higher."

"What then? A book?"

"I think you backed up to poems again..but hey, you know, you might just be onto something. He is studying with Gaius, so he would probably appreciate a medical book." Arthur patted him on his shoulder as if to say 'go for it'.

Considering Arthur's plan to stay in this village for another day, Gwaine would have plenty of time to find a book. Now that he thought about it, Merlin would probably need a magic book instead of a medical book, as he seemed to have the healing part covered.

He made some inquiries, and found out that a few druids had been spotted. They had been on a holy walk to their most sacred places and were now returning to their homes. Gwaine briefly wondered how the innkeeper happened to know that, but he decided not to dwell on it. He informed Arthur about his side trip to avoid getting into trouble again (he of course left the part about the druids out) and then headed out. The air was humid but at least it wasn't raining at the moment.

Finding the druids turned out to be surprisingly easy. Gwaine approached them and kept his hands raised to show them he wasn't there to harm them. Unfortunately the group turned out to be the same group he, Merlin and Arthur had blackmailed to get the Cup of life. He winced. Maybe getting the book would turn out more difficult after all.

"You again." The druid used words in order no to frighten the knight who, despite coming in peace, was carrying a sword nonetheless.

"Yes. Listen, about the last time we met.."

"No need for apologies. Simply state why you are here."

Gwaine looked at him. He had a bad feeling the druid knew full well why he was there, but obliged nonetheless. "I have a friend and I'd like to get him a book."

"A book? Doesn't the royal library contain all the books your friend could ever need?"

Gwaine now knew for certain the druid could read his mind: otherwise the druid couldn't know he had been knighted or for whom the book was. "I mean a book of magic."

"Arthur's knight searching for a book of magic?"

"It's..for personal reasons." Gwaine really didn't appreciate the druid seeing into his mind right then and there. He tried to avoid thinking about Merlin, but failed. The druid smiled. He reached down to his bag and pulled a heavy book out. The book was obviously too big for the bag, so the book had to have been magically shrunk to fit in, Gwaine thought. The druid hesitated before handing the book over to him. The druid's cryptic smile unnerved Gwaine, but he accepted the book with a bow. "Thank you. How much do I owe you?"

"No need for payment. Friends of Emrys...are our friends."

"I don't know any Emrys. Was he the little boy from the last time?" Gwaine asked, fearing he had been confused with someone else and he would be forced to return the book. The druid smiled and the other druids started walking again. He nodded to Gwaine in goodbye and followed the others.

"Oh. Gwaine." His call made Gwaine turn back to face him. "Do not try to use the book yourself, or you might end up hurting yourself or others." Gwaine nodded and they parted ways. As he went, the druid shook his head. _Humans_.

Right outside the village, he decided to stop to eat something before trying to make up with Merlin. As he ate, he took a glance at the book. He was bored and the book seemed interesting enough to pass the time. _I guess flipping through it couldn't hurt_.

Famous last words.

He caressed the leathery cover. It wasn't of leather, but of some other very soft material that felt good to the touch. He then opened the book, half expecting a wyvern to jump from its pages.

He had learned to read as his mother had taught him, but as he flipped through the pages he understood none of it. The texts were filled with words that didn't make any sense to him. He realized he had finished eating, so he decided to continue later, hid the book and rode to the village. Arthur told them he had decided that a little rain wouldn't kill them, and as Oliver seemed to alright too, they finally left the village and headed for the Perilous Lands.

Soon, it was lunch time, and Lancelot and Gwaine had been instructed to watch Oliver so she wouldn't escape again while Arthur, Percival and Merlin went to hunt, fetch some water and gather some fire wood, respectively. Oliver and Lancelot yelled at each other for a half an hour about responsibilities and freedom and had finally settled to glare at each other. Gwaine saw this as his opportunity to browse through the druid's book, or as he now referred to it as, _the Emrys book_.

As Lancelot and Oliver had started talking again, Gwaine could whisper aloud whatever he wanted without the fear of being heard. He chose a page that esthetically appealed to him (as the words gave him nothing to go by), and began reading. Once he had finished everything that was on the page, he laughed because it seemed ridiculous. Then he noticed a faint glow that dropped from the edge of the book on the floor and started heading towards Oliver and Lancelot. _Oh no_. Gwaine got up abruptly and waved at Oliver and Lancelot. "Move, you are in danger!"

First, Oliver and Lancelot looked around them to find nothing even remotely threatening, then turned back to Gwaine. "I know you are bored, but don't make stuff up. That's just sad", Lancelot managed just before the light hit him and Oliver at the same time. Gwaine watched helplessly as the light swallowed the two of them. Gwaine knew Merlin was the only person that could help them. He directed his words at the giant cloud of light as he couldn't see Lancelot or Oliver anymore. "I will get help. Don't worry!"

Merlin had just managed to gather up as much fire wood as his arms could carry when he saw Gwaine charge at him with his horse. Merlin prepared for another uncomfortable conversation with the man, but Gwaine simply yanked him from the arm and lifted him on his horse, making Merlin drop everything he had been carrying. Merlin struggled not to fall from the horse right back to the ground. "What happened to us spending time apart? This is not what we agreed on!"

"Of that I'm sure, but we have bigger problem now."

Before Merlin could argue, Gwaine urged his horse to gallop and Merlin simply tried to hold on.

Once they had reached their resting place, Gwaine and Merlin jumped off the horse. "Alright, what is the big problem?" Merlin asked as he looked around him. "And where are Oliver and Lancelot?"

"I did something stupid." Gwaine was worried, now Merlin could tell. "I went to find some druids to get you a book."

Merlin was astonished. "Why?"

Suddenly, Gwaine voice became incredibly soft. "To make things better between us."

Merlin gave him a sympathetic look. "And you think a book would make me do that?"

"Well, Arthur seemed to think it was a good idea."

"_Arthur_ suggested you go see some druids?"

"Well, actually he suggested a medical book, but as we both know, a book of magic would be more useful to you."

Merlin tried to get his head around what he was hearing. "You went to find the druids and asked them to give you a magic book for _me_?"

"Yes, I told them it was for a friend of mine. They gave me one, because apparently they think I know some guy called Emrys. I told them I had no idea who he was, but apparently they didn't care."

Merlin was about to burst. "And this book is now.."

"Here", Gwaine handed him the book. "I couldn't make heads or tails out of it, but I figure you'd have better luck with it. The druid told me not to use it myself, but I figured 'how could I use it? I don't have any magic in me'."

Merlin suddenly had a bad feeling about the whole affair. "Gwaine..did you read any of this out loud?"

His fears were confirmed when he saw the man wince. "Well, that's just it. I read one of the pages out loud just to see if it made more sense, but a light came and it enveloped Oliver and Lancelot. And now I don't know where they are any more."

Merlin covered his face with his hands. "Oh, Gwaine.."

"Are they dead?" Gwaine asked. Merlin looked at him and saw that the knight actually believed that to be a possibility. He felt some sympathy for the man. "I don't know yet. Show me the text you read."

Gwaine flipped through the book for a while. Once he found the page, he pointed at it energetically. "This one, I know it!"

Merlin read the text. Then he started laughing.

"They are most certainly not dead. Although when we find them, they might want to be." He closed the book and pulled Gwaine from his sleeve. "Go get my fire wood now. You made me drop all of it." He kept bursting out into little fits of laughter. It put Gwaine's mind at ease, but at the same time also picked his curiosity. He obeyed Merlin nonetheless, now that the boy was in a good mood for a change. _Why not try and make it last?_


	14. Chapter 14

I know a lot of people expected Gwaine to just laugh when he found out, but I think he's a deeper character than that. He would laugh, yes, but then see a deeper problem there. He wouldn't get mad at Merlin for not telling him, because he would understand, but he has a lot of personal issues and so does Merlin. Anyway, that's my view. Most of the questions you have will be answered eventually.

Short one this time, but otherwise the rest would have seemed too rushed.

**Chapter 14**

Lancelot and Oliver returned on foot a good half and hour later. They looked ashamed and avoided looking at each other. Merlin gave a small secret smile to the pair while Gwaine ran up to them and hugged them, relieved they were alright (and not killed by Gwaine's dabble in the druid arts).

Soon after, they entered the Perilous Lands. Gwaine, Arthur and Merlin told the others most of their experiences there, to prepare them for the journey ahead. That said, there was little they could say that would actually prepare them for the dangers that awaited them.

They continued as a group, but regrouped into three pairs. Arthur and Percival took the lead, Oliver and Lancelot followed them and Merlin and Gwaine secured them from the back. It was all to protect Oliver. She knew this and was greatly annoyed by the notion, although she felt slightly better after Arthur informed her that it was because their mission was to ensure her safety, not because she was a woman. Still, she didn't quite care for the special treatment. The logical part of her was grateful nonetheless. The Perilous Lands were a place where one needed all the protection he could get.

Lancelot rode by her side. They hadn't run into trouble quite yet, so his mind started wondering. He noted Oliver's pants. He nearly smiled but stopped himself at the last second. Gwen and Oliver could not have been more different. Even when Gwen wore pants, she was still the epitome of a woman, her hair long and face beautiful and caring. Oliver, however..her hair seemed to be in a constant battle with itself, as it was permanently pointing into different directions. Lancelot just wanted to place his hand on her hair to see if it was real or something Merlin had designed for her. He couldn't, of course. The girl by his side would take it the wrong way if he tried something like that. Especially after last night. He sighed.

Something he had to admit in Oliver's favor was that she was no doubt in better shape than Gwen. Her training with Lancelot had paid off and she was stronger now. She was also agile and could more than hold her own with a sword. Though, now that he thought about it, was probably the wrong thing to appreciate in a woman. The question _Then what is the right thing?_ had just popped into his head when Arthur motioned them to stop as it was time to eat again.

Merlin sat next to Gwaine and handed him a bowl. Gwaine accepted the bowl, but as he took it, his fingers brushed over Merlin's and they stayed that way for a little while longer than it was necessary. Merlin let go first. His cheeks were a bit flushed. Gwaine grunted and started eating to cover his confusion. Despite their amicable breakup, Gwaine couldn't hide his feelings for the young warlock. Not from himself, and most definitely not from Oliver and Lancelot, who looked at each, then realized it was each other and quickly looked away, both blushing.

Once they had eaten, Merlin went to the nearby river to wash the dishes and Lancelot went to protect him, while Arthur and Percival went to see if there was a way to cross the river without building a bridge a bit further along. Gwaine stayed behind to watch over Oliver.

"So. What did you do with Lancelot?" Gwaine, ready to cut to the chase.

Oliver's face reddened, but not in the same attractive way that girls (or Merlin) usually blushed. She just went beetroot in under two seconds. "None of your business. What about you, what exactly happened with Merlin?"

"None of _your_ business", Gwaine replied, irritating Oliver. Gwaine laughed and shook his head, looking suddenly a little sad. "We kind of went our separate ways."

"Why? You both like each other."

"I'm not sure."

"What? Gwaine.."

"I'm different from the people Merlin is used to. Arthur and Lancelot, they are his type of people. Dependable, responsible."

"With a stick up their.." Oliver started, and Gwaine laughed. "Maybe. It's just..I'm used to traveling by myself. Counting on another person for my happiness..it just isn't me, I guess." Gwaine sighed.

"I always thought that if I finally fell for someone, that person would love me back. I guess that was stupid of me."

Oliver laid her arm on his shoulder. Seeing Gwaine so down was awful. She pulled the man in for a semi-hug (as they were both seated, it didn't quite work). "Gwaine, he does love you. I know he does. But, in the off-chance that he doesn't, come with me."

Gwaine flinched a little. "What?"

"Let us both flee. You can come with me. Nobody will know who we are. What do you say?" Oliver offered her hand to Gwaine. Gwaine stared at her for a moment. Then he slunk his shoulders. "Tempting. Really. But I think for the time being, my place is with M-, A-, well, in Camelot anyway."

"Then will you at least let _me_ escape?" Oliver begged him. Gwaine was her last chance.

Gwaine gave her a sympathetic, tired smile. He took his thumb and poked her cheek. "Sorry, Oliver. I can't do that. I hope you manage to escape. I really do. But _I_ can't let you leave."

"What is going on here?" A voice demanded. They turned to look into the direction of its source and saw Lancelot, Arthur, Merlin and Percival all looking at them. Lancelot looked outraged. Arthur looked as if he was praying the situation wasn't what it seemed. Percival seemed worried. The only one of them who was calm over the whole thing was Merlin, but even he had to struggle, given his past with jealousy.

Gwaine and Oliver looked at each other and noticed that, to and outside viewer, they looked like they had been about to do something other than talk. They let each other go. Lancelot yelled at Gwaine a good ten minutes straight about proper conduct when dealing with a lady, then Oliver took over and tried kicking Lancelot to make him stop. Meanwhile, Gwaine simply looked at the remaining trio and told them that it _hadn't been what it had looked like_. The trio believed him. They turned to watch as Oliver was targeting Lancelot's legs as the knight danced around, trying to avoid her kicks. Merlin laughed along at first, then he slipped away and walked to the horses, pretending to check the saddles. Gwaine followed him.

"Like I told you. Nothing's going to happen with Oliver." Gwaine stepped behind him and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Merlin didn't turn to face him.

"I know. I'm trying." Merlin covered his hand with his own. "Thank you."

"I still love you. Not being officially together doesn't change that."

They stayed like that for a long time.

Considering they were traveling in the Perilous Lands, it was kind of a miracle that it took them until their second day there to run into trouble. More specifically, wyverns.

They took Arthur and Percival by surprise. They didn't get hurt too badly in the process but they both lost consciousness as they fell from their horses. Oliver jumped to the ground and took cover behind her horse. Lancelot leaped to defend her, but ended up assuming a similar position. Merlin and Gwaine had followed Oliver's example. Merlin glanced at his left, only to realize the man had vanished from his side. He saw the man advance towards the wyvern. "What are you doing?" He shouted at the man. "I'm getting Arthur and Percival out of here!" Gwaine reached the unconscious pair and started dragging them towards the horses, when he spotted the wyvern flying towards him. He let Arthur and Percival drop once more and drew his sword, preparing for impact.

Merlin calculated the situation. Gwaine knew. Lancelot knew. Oliver didn't. Arthur and Percival were down for the count. Oliver was going away, anyway..

Then he saw the wyvern approaching Gwaine and he yelled the words without thinking any further. The wyvern hesitated. It came a bit closer, circling their group. Then it finally obeyed Merlin and left. Gwaine turned around and flashed him a wide grin. Merlin smiled back, but then heard a crack and saw Oliver next to him. He braced himself for whatever the girl would have to say.

Except this. Oliver smacked him hard on the back. "Awesome! It's gone!" Then she ignored him and walked over to their two friends and slapped them a few times on their cheeks to wake them up. Lancelot tried muttering something about treating royals with respect but Oliver ignored him too. She acted as if she hadn't heard Merlin say a thing. They decided to play along. If she hadn't, great, if she had and she wouldn't say anything, great.

Merlin and Gwaine started packing Arthur and Percival on the horses. "So. What did you think?" Merlin asked in a hushed tone, careful not to rouse Arthur in the middle of the conversation.

Gwaine grinned. He was nearly dancing. "Oliver's right, that was pretty awesome. Magic's pretty handy once it's on our side." He patted Merlin on his back and gave out a hearty laughter. Merlin smiled as he looked at the man's enthusiastic rejoicing over the won battle.

Once awake again, Arthur went straight to business. He stared at the maps he had. "I think we'll get there the fastest if we cross the river and then turn left."

Oliver followed his gaze and looked troubled. "I don't think we should go there. That place is..disturbing."

They all turned to look at her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Two days later, they arrived in the kingdom of Oliver's father. They looked at each other with fairly traumatized expressions. "Let us _never_ speak of this again."

They stopped for lunch and for once, Oliver made no attempts at escaping though she had plenty of opportunities while the others cooked. As they ate, Arthur talked to Oliver about her father. "So, king Eldor must be mad, considering how long you have been away?"

Oliver winced. Percival looked at Arthur. "King Eldor? Her father is king Pelles."

Arthur frowned. "I specifically recall your letter of recommendation saying king Eldor", he told Oliver, who looked guilty. "You framed the whole thing, didn't you?"

"Well, I thought it was obvious by now. If my father thinks I'm still a hostage to some bandits, why would he write a letter of recommendation so that I could become a knight?" Oliver replied.

"He thinks you've been taken hostage?"

"Yes, they ransacked my wedding through the use of magic. Happy coincidence if I ever saw one. I escaped a few weeks later, far from my father or that Blob." She pronounced the last word as if she had eaten something bad.

"Now, there's no need to insult him just because he's a little heavy on the bottom. Or everywhere", Arthur rebuked her.

"No, that's what his name is. Blob."

"Oh."

Gwaine glanced at Oliver. Despite the fact that they were nearing her father's castle, she seemed upbeat and chatted with Merlin to pass the time. He wondered what had caused her mood to so drastically change.

Once in the castle, Oliver was directed to the side to clothe her in a fashion more becoming of a royal princess. She returned to them wearing a green dress. Merlin elbowed Lancelot, who looked uncomfortable seeing Oliver. "Doesn't she look nice?" Lancelot grunted.

They entered the large hall similar to that of Uther's throne room. It was full of courtiers and Oliver started getting a little nervous. She looked up to see all of her sisters and brothers next to her father. Somebody had told them they were coming.

Her father stood up and walked up to her to embrace her. "Daughter, how much I have missed you."

"Father, I sent you word once in two weeks wherever I went. I assure I am perfectly fine."

"The last time I saw you, you were captured by bandits. You can't blame me for worrying for you."

Oliver sighed. "Father, here is Arthur Pendragon, the first and only heir of Uther of Camelot. Next to him is his best knight, sir Lancelot. The strongest knight he has, sir Gwaine, is the man on his right. You are already acquainted with your nephew, sir Percival. I also present to you Merlin, Arthur's _draíodóir_ and my most trusted friend, after sir Gwaine, that is."

Merlin couldn't help but be curious. _Draíodóir?_ He wasn't the only one, as everyone in their group was watching whether one of the others happened to know what Oliver was talking about. The courtiers seemed to know exactly what she had said, as they all looked surprised and began whispering to each other.

The king eyed Merlin and settled for an accepting grunt to the surprise of Arthur. "Merlin, what are they talking about? Did you do something inappropriate to Oliver?" he whispered to Merlin, who looked absolutely stupefied by his question. "No, of course not!"

"Thank you for bringing my daughter back to me. Now that she is here, we can resume the ceremony."

"What?" Oliver asked. They turned to look in the direction the king was pointing at, and saw a very large red-faced man appear to the king's side. Lancelot become worried. Seeing the man now, he regretted not letting Oliver escape when she had the chance. Oliver, however, never stopped smiling.

"Father, nothing would bring me more pleasure than to fulfill your wish. Alas, I must confess that I cannot marry Blob."

"Just because you don't like him now, doesn't mean you can't have a perfectly good life together", her father repeated what he had said to her hundreds of times before she had disappeared a few years ago.

"Oh, no father. If it only were that simple." Oliver chuckled. She had won in the end, by the most unexpected of circumstances. "During our journey here, I was enchanted by a warlock, and lied with a man. As I am now carrying the child of another man, I simply cannot shame Blob's kingdom by marrying him", Oliver explained with a satisfied smile on her face.

Her father gaped. "Tell me you are lying. Please, daughter."

"It is true. Merlin verified it a while ago." Oliver pointed at Merlin, who had suddenly become the target of Arthur's rage. "Merlin, why didn't you tell me?" Arthur hissed at him.

Merlin was tired of being blamed for everything. "She told me not to!"

Gwaine leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Is this my fault?"

"It most certainly is", Merlin grinned. "You'll make a great godfather."

Blob took this as his time to exit. "So long." He turned his back and left, and his servants followed him. Oliver waved at him in goodbye.

"Who is the father of the child?" The king asked. Maybe the situation could be turned around and he'd score Arthur Pendragon as his son-in-law in stead of some sixth son of the seventh son of a king from the west.

Oliver smiled brightly at him. "I know what you are thinking father, and no such luck. The father of my child is none other than sir Lancelot du Lac." She pointed at Lancelot, who looked like he wanted to flee. "I.."

"So it is you who has shamed my daughter so?"

"Father, we were both under a spell. He is hardly to blame for this. Nor am I, for that matter."

"Elaine, be quiet", Percival said.

"Don't order my daughter around, and it's Elaine of Corbenic to you", the king rebuked him.

While the trio argued on, Merlin elbowed Lancelot. "You are going to be a father!"

Lancelot looked like his life was over. "Now everyone knows. This is humiliating."

Gwaine laid his arm on his shoulders. "As an expert on trouble, I'd say the tricky part is just about to begin."

Lancelot raised his head to look at him. "How so?"

"Well, right now you're simply ashamed. When the king tries to put you to death, that's when the trouble starts."

Sure enough, the king demanded the knight be put to death. Arthur took on the king as they fought over the correct diplomatic conduct in this type of situation. Oliver came to shake Lancelot's hand. "How ironic that you should be the key to my salvation", she smiled victoriously.

Lancelot looked embarrassed. "Don't mention it. Really."

Arthur and the king had finished their debate. "The only way we are going to get out of this situation alive is if Lancelot marries Elaine."

"What?" Lancelot was about to protest. Then he looked at Oliver, whom he expected to fight this battle for him. After all, she had experience in the area of rejecting marriage proposals.

"I accept." Oliver nodded to her father and Arthur, who both seemed relieved. She turned to look at Lancelot, who looked at her like she had just grown another head. She flashed him a wicked smile. "What is it Lancy? I thought you were the one who was always so into holding onto one's responsibilities."

The wedding banquet lasted for three days, so it was relatively short considering this was the king's daughter. She was, however, pregnant, and also she was only the youngest daughter of eight other children, so she didn't merit as big a festivity as her other siblings, apparently. She didn't care: she was just glad it was over and done with. She knew she and Lancy would never live as a conventional married couple, but all in all, things had turned out rather nicely in the end.

They had agreed that Oliver and Lancelot would stay in her father's castle until the baby was born, then travel back to Camelot and he would resume his knightly duties. As Merlin had expected, Oliver asked Gwaine to be one of the godfathers of the child, which angered her father as she had plenty of more prestigious siblings to consider before some lowly knight, but she didn't care. Lancelot and Oliver came to the gates of the citadel to see them off. What surprised Merlin was the fact that Gwaine too turned to him, Arthur and Percival to say goodbye: he was staying behind to watch over Oliver under Arthur's orders.

Gwaine gave Arthur and Percival both friendly pats on the back. Then he stepped in front of Merlin. "It's better this way. Really", he said. He grabbed the boy into his arms. "I'll miss you", Merlin whispered.

"Don't feel bad Merlin, Gwaine will train under my best knight. He'll come back more responsible than ever", Arthur cut in, revealing the true purpose of Gwaine's relocation and punched Merlin in the arm because he seemed so sad. _The emotional maturity of an ogre_, Merlin thought.

As it couldn't be helped, Merlin let Arthur lead him to the horses where Percival was already waiting for them. He shot one last longing look at Gwaine who waved him goodbye.

_End of chapter_

Elaine's/Oliver's father is actually the Fisher King, and that's what the name Pelles refers to, but **you** try making it make since, given the fact that we saw Merlin help him torch himself in 3.08.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Remind me again what today is about again", Merlin asked Arthur as he was dressing the heir into his finest clothes. After Arthur had assumed power and been officially crowned king, they had started receiving endless strings of envoys from the neighboring kingdoms and Merlin was getting tired of it all. One would think Camelot would run out of allies much faster than that, he thought.

"We are receiving some special guests. I want you on your best behavior", Arthur repeated the day's program and pushed the boy to emphasize his last words.

It had been a little over a year since they had left most of their friends behind and Arthur had noticed that their absence had taken its toll on Merlin. Apparently the boy needed friends. _Huh_. Arthur had underestimated his relationships with the trio back then. In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have told Gwaine to stay, at least he could've kept Merlin a little company while Lancelot and Oliver were away. _Well, nothing I can do about that now._ Maybe this day would cheer him up. In fact, Arthur was sure of it.

They made their way into the throne room and Arthur and Merlin took their positions to patiently await for the guests' arrival. They didn't need to wait long, as a group of servants and knights soon lead the party in front of them. Merlin didn't really care who the guest were. At least, not until he saw Oliver.

Oliver smiled at him like the sun. Merlin glanced at Arthur, who smiled at him and encouraged him to go greet her. Oliver, however, gave him no such time and ran up to him to punch him in the arm. "I see you are doing fine even without us three to protect you", she joked and pretended to protect him from Arthur who played along and tried to look threatening. Suddenly Merlin felt a familiar hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Lancelot smile at him. "Lancelot!" He wrapped his arms around the man and patted his back before taking a step backwards. Oliver turned to one of the servants to get something. "And here.." She came up to him and placed something heavy in his arms. "..is Galahad." Merlin carefully held the baby and stared into his eyes. "He's precious. Where does the name come from?"

"Lancy absolutely refused to name the child after Gwaine, so I had to develop something based on the first syllable alone", Oliver told him.

"Why would you want to name our son after this man, anyway? If we named him Gwaine he'd grow up as irresponsible as his namesake", Lancelot argued. Merlin smiled, realizing that the parents of the baby didn't get along any better than they had a year ago.

"He's the one responsible for Galahad's existence, that's more than enough reason to name him after him", Oliver stated. Merlin had revealed to her what had happened and Gwaine's accidental fault in getting her pregnant, but Oliver hadn't been mad, as it had saved her from marrying Blob.

"You expect me to believe that Gwaine used magic just to get us to lie with one another?" Lancelot asked. He carefully took Galahad into his own arms. As Arthur stood up and started to look curious, Merlin hurried to cover for his slip up. "While he was being possessed, yes." Arthur sat down again. "Should have known. You need to have brains to be a sorcerer", Lancelot continuing his friendly rivalry with the other man, though this time seemingly alone.

"My, my, my ears are blushing", a familiar voice joked. Merlin froze. Aware that everyone in the room was observing his actions, he slowly turned around to see Gwaine. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Gwaine had no such trouble and simply grabbed his shoulders to take a good look at him. "Merlin, old friend. You don't look half bad, actually. Has Arthur finally stopped pushing you around?"

"He wishes", Arthur interjected.

Gwaine shook his head and laughed. Merlin had a smile on his face, which he couldn't tear from his face, so he looked down in order not to look completely idiotic. He still hadn't spoken. Lancelot patted him on the back to encourage him but still nothing came out.

Oliver stepped up to Arthur and asked him something. Arthur took a hard look at her, calculating something, then nodded. Oliver winked at him as a thank you, then returned to the others.

"I'll never get used to seeing you in a dress", Merlin told Oliver, having finally regained his ability to speak.

"Neither will anyone else. She only wears them for formal audiences and special occasions, which are few and far in between", Lancelot stated with a displeased tone. "She spent most of the pregnancy practicing her skills with the sword."

"Is that safe?" Merlin asked. He had been under the impression that women remained mostly inactive while expecting.

"No", Lancelot said. Oliver rolled her eyes at him. "A little exercise never hurt anyone."

"_A little exercise_ and _a sword threatening our child_ are two very different things", Lancelot pointed out. Oliver didn't seem entirely convinced but let it slide. "The important thing is, he is alive and healthy now." Lancelot shook his head again, smiling at her attitude that showed more than a hint of consequentialism. Merlin grinned as he followed the couple's arguing. Then he saw Lancelot's face change. He followed his gaze and saw Gwen make her way to Lancelot. "He is lovely", she said as she tickled the baby's nose. Lancelot looked ashamed, and Merlin saw that Oliver noticed this too. She had a thoughtful look on her face. She then went to greet Gwen as if nothing had happened.

Merlin was afraid to look at Gwaine. Everything he wanted to say seemed useless, so nothing actually came out.

"Are you now doing better?" Arthur asked him, having appeared by his side.

"How so?"

"I'm not an idiot Merlin. You haven't enjoyed yourself this past year because all your friends were away."

Merlin realized that this was one of the moments when Arthur had actually done something nice for him. "Thank you."

"You're excused for today. I imagine you have a lot to catch up on", Arthur said and motioned him to go.

"Wow, you are really going soft."

"I can still change my mind." Arthur's voice warned him not to push his luck.

"Right." Merlin ran along and lead his friends to Gaius' chambers.

As they told each other what had happened in the past year or so, the fact that Gwen had followed them seemed to bother Oliver. Lancelot still looked shameful as he held on to Galahad in his arms as Gwen was sitting next to her. Oliver said she needed to go, not wanting to watch the man's anguish any longer. As she left, Lancelot looked at her go and looked guilty. He excused himself too, saying that Galahad was getting tired as it had been a long day for the infant. Gwen left soon after, leaving Merlin alone with Gwaine.

"So, how are you really doing here?" Gwaine asked and placed his elbow on the table so he could lean his head against his hand.

"Now that Arthur is king, he is like a living target for all things magical and not. _I've been busy_ is an understatement." Merlin knew that wasn't what Gwaine had asked him but pretended he didn't. He wanted to avoid the conversation as long as he could.

Apparently not too long. "Are you seeing someone?" Gwaine sounded really casual, as if he didn't even care.

"I don't have the time."

"Right, protecting Arthur's hiney must be a full time job."

"And you?"

"Sure, now I'm here to help you, along with Lancelot and Oliver, so it should become easier for you now."

"No, I mean.. are you..?" He trailed away. Gwaine seemed genuinely surprised. "Oh! Well, nothing too serious. I met an old friend of mine and we had a little tryst, but she left me soon after. We were both recovering from other people, so it was just for mutual comfort, I suppose."

Merlin kept his face calm, even though he hated the idea of someone else with Gwaine, and yet, he only had himself to blame. He had all but told Gwaine that he didn't really care about him. Of course the man had been free to do whatever he wanted. As far as he knew, he needed to get over Merlin since he didn't want him. "Had you been with her before?"

"Yes. That time we were together for some time."

"What happened?"

"What always happens. I fall for people, they dump me. Not unlike you." Merlin's eyes widened. Gwaine's eyes searched to reach Merlin's and rested on them lazily. He laughed to stop Merlin from looking so shocked. "Well, no use rubbing the past in anyone's face, I guess."

"So you haven't found anyone serious, then?"

"No. The thing we had, you and me, and how it ended..I'm just not up to it anymore."

"I'm sorry", Merlin said softly.

"I don't want to guilt you, we were both wrong. Breaking up was the right thing to do."

"But if you've lost the will to find someone.."

"You don't need to worry about me, Merlin. Lord knows you have enough problems on your own." Gwaine chuckled and patted him on his shoulder. "I think I'll hit the sack now. See you tomorrow."

Merlin got up. "Wait."

"Don't, Merlin. We're fine now; let's just leave it at that", Gwaine told him without turning.

Merlin raised his hand and used his natural magic to stop Gwaine from moving. He then realized what he had done, and released Gwaine. "I'm sorry."

Gwaine, now free to move again, turned around. Fortunately for Merlin he looked more surprised than angry. "You can do that?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Since always."

"Huh." Gwaine raised his eyebrows and then turned to leave again.

"I'm sorry. I thought you would be happier if we stopped seeing each other", Merlin called after him.

"Why would you think that?"

"When we were together, I was constantly jealous of you. You on the other hand were constantly aware of the fact that my destiny would always take presidence over you. I figured I would do us both a favor by leaving you. But..I really do want to be with you."

Gwaine stared at him. He felt as if Merlin had just took a knife, stuck it through his heart and then backed up to start again. He thought returning to Camelot would be alright. He hadn't expected Merlin to make him go right back to where they had started, all in the course of one single evening. "Sometimes I wonder if you really are just playing a game with me. A cruel, hurtful game."

He left through the door and Merlin was left alone.

Outside, Gwaine walked a few doors further in order not to be seen in case Merlin would decide to follow him. Then he collapsed against one of the pillars. His shoulders convulsed as he cried.

Lancelot happened to see him on his way to Merlin, as he had forgotten one of Galahad's socks there. When he saw Gwaine, he stopped. First he thought the man was drunk, but when he realized that he was crying, he hid behind a corner. Fortunately for him, Gwaine recovered quickly, wiped away his tears and then left as if nothing had happened. Lancelot came from his hiding place and stared after the man. He didn't understand what was going on between the two, but he figured it was high time he did.

In Gaius' chambers he saw Merlin hug his knees in front of the table. "If you're looking for the sock, it's right there on the door knob", the boy told him without a hint of passion or interest in his voice.

"I just passed by Gwaine. You two can't continue like this. We're back now, and you are going to have to figure out a way to get along."

"I told him I wanted to be with him. He told me I was being cruel."

"Well, you are not being terribly systematic with him, that's for sure."

"That's what he said." Merlin got up. "Where are you going?" Lancelot asked.

"To take a walk. I think I need to clear my head a little."

Lancelot returned to his and Oliver's chambers. He walked over to Galahad to kiss the boy goodnight. Oliver was already sleeping. He undressed himself and snuck under the covers as well. Oliver turned to face him. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No, I couldn't sleep. Not before I tell you something." Lancelot nodded. Oliver continued. "I saw you earlier with Gwen."

Lancelot winced and opened his mouth to explain, but Oliver stopped him. "Don't deny it. You still love her. That's fine with me. I just don't want you to think of Galahad as an accident. Though, granted, he kind of was one", she added.

"I'm sorry. About Gwen." Even though Lancelot and Oliver's marriage was more or less a sham orchestrated by her father and Arthur to give both parties what they wanted, Lancelot, always a traditionalist, didn't think it right to harbor feelings for one woman when he was married and had a child with another.

"If she wants, we can get an annulment and you can marry her. Now that Galahad was born in wedlock, I think my father would mind less if the two of us went our separate ways."

"Wouldn't that make you unhappy?" Lancelot had never asked her seriously why she had chosen to marry him. Merlin had always hinted that there was something in her way of dealing with him, but Lancelot had always refused to see it.

"You gave me my life back. It's only right I give you yours." Oliver kissed his cheek and fell asleep under a second. Lancelot was left alone with his thoughts.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Gwaine got his old quarters back, Lancelot got bigger ones due to the fact that he had a family now. Gwaine, ever popular and known as a loyal friend, soon settled back into life at Camelot. To Arthur's delight, he had indeed become more responsible during the year he had spent away. As a result, the man saw his work load increase as a token of Arthur's trust.

Lancelot, who had informally been Arthur's second in command from the start, was awarded officially the status in case Arthur were to perish in battle. Oliver, however, previously well-liked by both men and women when posing as a boy, found it more difficult to connect with the new ladies of the court. She assumed it was mostly due to the fact that she wore men's clothing or something else to that effect, but an encounter with one of the courtiers made her doubt her initial assumption.

She had been headed to her quarters to eat with Lancelot and the baby. In the hall a couple of chambers away from their quarters, she ran into a beautiful dark-haired woman. She apologized and was about to resume walking when she noticed the woman was staring at her.

"I'm sorry, were you hurt?" The woman didn't look injured, but one could never know.

"He only married you because you got pregnant", the woman uttered.

Oliver shot her an incredolous glance. "And I only married him to save his life. Why are we talking about this? Who are you?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." The woman buried her face in her hands. "I just..I wanted to marry him. I know, I don't even know him, but.."

Oliver hugged her. "Sorry kid. You shouldn't just fall for people based on what they seem. Just..get to know the other person. Spend some time with him. See where it goes. I hear sir Guillaume is available, and he's a really good man."

The girl sniveled. "He's a foreigner."

"Maybe, but very charming and loyal. Check him out." Oliver patted her back in comfort. She knew she was far from smooth, but she didn't know what else to say. The girl took a long while to calm down. When she finally did, she wiped her tears away with her handkerchief.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry", the girl squeezed her hand before leaving.

Lancelot raised his head as he saw Oliver come through the door. "How was your day?"

"Like you wouldn't believe", Oliver muttered and Lancelot knew not to question her further.

They started eating.

"Fine." Oliver began, and Lancelot smiled inside. She could never hold things inside her for too long.

"I met a girl who told me you should've married her instead of me."

"Who?" Lancelot asked, not really caring about the answer. This wasn't a good conversation to have with one's wife.

"I don't know her name. You probably don't know her, she said she fell for you without even knowing who you are. I don't blame her, but I think that's the wrong way to go about it."

"Really?"

"Yes. You get to know the other person. If you meet the person once or twice and base your image of him on a fairy tale you create, you'll never love him for real."

Oliver finished her dinner first and told him she'd head out again. Lancelot called after her. "Where are you going?"

"To the fighting ranges. Arthur asked me to train the new kids." She waved in goodbye. "Take care of Gal while I'm gone, okay?"

Lancelot looked at Galahad who was giggling. He had a feeling that in other marriages, it was the woman who took care of the children whilst their husbands went to work. Then again, other marriages didn't include Oliver.

Lancelot, having learned her real name, hadn't begun using it since she hated being called Elaine. Apparently Percival had called her Oliver since they were young, that was where she had gotten the name to begin with.

He started thinking about Oliver's words. He, too, had met Gwen only a few times. They had hardly spent any time together. Was he really thinking about Gwen, or the idealistic image he had created of her? Maybe Oliver, in all her bluntness, was wiser than he had initially thought.

Lancelot poked the child, making him laugh again. "Let's go see mommy teach boys to kill each other, okay?" He took the baby into his arms and vanished through the door as well.

On his way to there he met Gwaine. "Taking Gwaine junior out for a walk?" Gwaine asked playfully. Lancelot ignored him. "I was going to see Oliver teach the rookies."

"Count me in."

They met Merlin at the ranges. He was there to help Arthur, who was training the knights.

"How is she doing?" Lancelot asked him.

"They're just beginning, so see for yourselves", Merlin replied, curious himself.

Oliver, having made a side track to the weaponry storage, arrived a while later. She stepped in the middle of the young men. "We'll start with an evaluation of your skills. You will each face me and you will be split into groups based on your performance."

"Who are you?" The boys asked in unison. They had expected to be trained by Arthur, they didn't know this man.

"Oliver. Arthur asked me to help out. Now that he is king, he needs more men than ever before." Oliver clapped her hands. "Now, you are only avoiding the inevitable. You, go first", she said and pointed randomly at one of the men, who stepped forward.

"You may begin", Oliver told him, he obeyed and drew his sword. He swung the sword at her in a rather obvious fashion, thinking to defeat her by strength alone. He missed and lost his balance: Oliver pushed him to the ground with a single kick. "Go stand over there." The man slunk his shoulders and walked away.

Oliver motioned the next person to come forth. He came to stand in front of her in a very confident fashion. "You got off easy with him, but I'll prove to be a bigger challenge", he stated.

"Then show me." Compared to the first one, this man actually had some technique. Oliver got an actual exercise out of the experience. Just when she was starting to have fun, the man made a tiny error in movement and Oliver grabbed his cross-guard and placed her sword on his jaw. The man looked mad at himself and Oliver let him go. "Why did you lose?" she asked him.

"Because I made a mistake and left a hole in my defense", the man answered.

"Good. Go over there and announce yourself to Arthur. You will train with the knights from now on." Oliver motioned him to go. The man's face brightened up, then became doubtful again. "But I lost", the man said.

"But you know why you lost. Training with the knights will do you good."

The man nodded and bowed. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, I hear Arthur's a real pain as a teacher", Oliver said. The man walked up to Arthur. Arthur looked at Oliver questioningly, and Oliver waved at him enthusiastically. Arthur nodded and pushed the man among his other trainés.

Oliver turned back to the young men. "Who's next?"

"Hey, I know you! You are married to sir Lancelot", one of them realized.

"That's beside the point." Oliver motioned him to come forth.

"But..I can't hurt a woman."

"But if you do, you might get to train with Arthur", another one pointed out.

"To become a knight, I should go against the knight's code?" the original man argued.

"Don't think of me as a woman, think of me as the person who will kill you if you fail this test", Oliver said and motioned him to come forth. She was tired of this nonsense.

"I will never raise my sword against a woman."

"What if your enemy is a woman?" Oliver asked him. The man looked unsure, but still refused to fight. He went over to Arthur, who yelled at him for quite some time. The man came back. "I suppose."

By now Oliver had sorted the other cadets into groups, this man would be the last one. "What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything about fighting women, he told me I should respect my authorities." He looked ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"Let's just get this over with."

The man turned out to be an adequate fighter. The groups Oliver had created were 1, those with strength but no technique 2, those with technique but no strength and 3, little of both but not enough conviction to use either one to its full potential. She assigned each group with tasks and then came to say hello to the men who had been watching her. Gwaine punched her in the arm. "Not bad. You seem like you'd have done this before."

"I am simply following the instructions of my own tutor with some of my own ideas thrown in between", she smiled at Lancelot and came to give Galahad a little kiss. "He was the one that trained me during our year away. Despite all his complaining."

Merlin caressed the baby's forehead. "No wonder you have gotten so good. Maybe you could teach together?"

"But then who would take care of baby Gwaine while we're away?" Oliver joked.

"Oh great, so now _you_ are calling him Gwaine too?" Lancelot asked, annoyed.

"I was the one who came up with it!"

Merlin laughed at Lancelot's frustrated sigh.

Lancelot hesitated. He stared at Oliver long enough to irk her. "What?" She asked.

"I'm proud of you", Lancelot told Oliver.

Oliver was surprised. "So you don't think I should quit anymore?"

"I didn't say that", Lancelot said, expression as serious as ever.

Oliver frowned and was about to punch him in the arm when Lancelot dodged her fist and flashed her a wide grin, finally sticking his tongue out to her.

"What do you know, he does have a sense of humor after all", Gwaine said to Merlin, who grinned. Gwaine then left to take care of his duties. Merlin stared after him. He knew he couldn't continue this charade of friendship with the man, when he still wanted more.

When the training was over, Merlin could finally get away from serving Arthur. As he headed towards the castle, Lancelot called after him. "Where are you going?"

"To go do something I should have done a long time ago. But I need some encouragement first."

Later that evening, Gwaine heard a knock on his door. His new servant went to open it and found Merlin on the other side. Merlin was moving strangely. Gwaine told the servant to take the night off and Merlin slipped in and past Gwaine. "What are you doing here, Merlin? Trying to confuse me some more?"

"I am here to. Talk things over. And we're not leaving until we're finished", Merlin replied, speaking slowly, as if forming each sentence caused him great difficulty.

"Are you drunk?"

"Semi. I drank three tankards of mead just so I could come up here, and another one to get me to actually talk to you." Gwaine sighed. Merlin wasn't used to heavy drinking. The next morning would be ugly.

"If you think I'm talking to you like this, you're wrong. I'll go get Gaius." Gwaine headed for the door, but it seemed locked. He turned around to see Merlin's melancholic smile. "I told you, we're not leaving until we're done."

"You are starting to scare me, Merlin", Gwaine said and sat on a chair. If he was going to be held hostage by his ex, he might as well be comfortable during the experience.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"_You are starting to scare me, Merlin", Gwaine said._

"Fear. Good. Let's start with that. Last year, after you found out, I took a swing at you because you wouldn't talk to me, and you cringed." Merlin was going to let it all out. What did he have to lose? "That really hurt my feelings."

"I was only acting on an instinct, for heaven's sake. I didn't know – and for the record, I still don't-, what you are capable of."

"I would never hurt you. At least not physically", Merlin muttered. "This is good. Let's let it all out."

"Alright. I think it is really hurtful that you broke things off with me a year ago, supposedly for my benefit, I come back and suddenly, after all this time, you say you want to be with me after all. Decide whether you want me or not and stick with it."

"I always wanted to be with you. I just concluded that you weren't happy. And you - we weren't. We were both so scared of losing each other that we ended up driving each other away. Ironic, isn't it?"

"You smell of alcohol, but your speech is normal. What's your secret?"

"I lied. I only drank two tankards. I'm terrified right now."

"Figures."

"So, what else?"

Gwaine sighed. "I don't understand how I would get in the way of your destiny. You're a sorcerer, you protect Arthur, I'm his knight, I protect him. How is that different?"

Merlin was silent for a moment. "Well, when you put it like that.."

Gwaine shook his head. "So, what was the jealousy issue?"

"I was always afraid of you leaving me. When Oliver first showed up, I was sure you were spending your nights with him or more precisely her, now that we know.." Merlin's voice trailed off and Gwaine nodded.

"I told you there was nothing to worry about. Repeatedly."

"I know. I couldn't help it. I still can't. When you told me about that friend of yours, I just wanted to punch something."

Gwaine sighed again. "I lied, you tool."

Merlin turned to look at him. "What?"

"I thought you genuinely wanted me to have found someone, so I said that to make things more comfortable between us."

"So you didn't.." Merlin couldn't help but smile.

Gwaine didn't seem as happy as he did. "Merlin, I had every right to. You used me like a puppet in your game and then threw me away. So even though I didn't, I could have. And I still can."

Merlin didn't understand what he was talking about, but figured it was important as this wasn't the first time the man had mentioned the same subject. "Game?"

"I kiss you. You tell me we should sleep on it. A while later, we make out, and you start yelling at me. We then decide to break it off, nice and simple. When I find a friend, Oliver, you get jealous and kiss me. I get drunk with Oliver, you get mad at me. I find out you can use magic, you break things off with me. This is your game. I just love you- and you, you set the rules. But I just can't bear to play anymore. It hurts too much." Gwaine looked away, because if he hadn't, he would've cried again.

"Do you think I don't care for you at all?" Merlin asked. He was absolutely horrified with Gwaine's view on their relationship.

Gwaine stayed silent. Merlin sat next to him. He raised his hands to the man's cheeks so the man would face him. "You're wrong", he said and kissed the man tentatively. "You're wrong", he repeated and kissed Gwaine again. The man struggled at first, but then let the kiss deepen. His arms found their way on Merlin's body. Their lips finally parted and Merlin moaned as Gwaine buried his head behind his neck.

Suddenly Gwaine let go of him. "Stop." He got up to stand, distancing himself from Merlin on purpose.

"Gwaine, I don't know what you think I'm doing, but I'm not playing a game with you", Merlin pleaded with him, to make the man see reason.

"I don't trust myself with you. It's as if I am under your spell or something." Gwaine realized what he had just said and gave a melancholic laugh. "This scares me. I would do anything you ask."

"Then get back here and kiss me again."

Gwaine turned back to look at him. "Once I start, there's no going back. For either of us."

Merlin nodded. "I'm ready." He started opening his shirt and Gwaine watched him, unable to tear his eyes off the young warlock. Finally he grew impatient and pushed Merlin against the wall. He looked feverish to Merlin as he began kissing him. He then started undressing him relatively quickly considering he was also undressing himself _and_ kissing Merlin at the same time.

Once they were both naked, they briefly observed the large room to decide where to go. In the end Gwaine took him right there on the floor. Merlin cried out in pain but Gwaine reached down to touch him in a way that caused such pleasure that it more than equaled the pain. It was still there, however, and Merlin was almost glad when it was finally over. Almost. When his passion had been spent, Gwaine collapsed on the floor and relaxed his head on Merlin's shoulder. "I love you", he muttered. Then he fell asleep.

Merlin listened to his breathing for a while. He smiled. Even asleep, Gwaine held his other hand possessively on Merlin's butt cheek, as if to signal _mine_. Merlin pondered. Would he have guessed, upon meeting Gwaine for the first time, that the man would one day become his first? He reached to pull Gwaine's cape on top of them. He then nuzzled against Gwaine's body and fell asleep as well.

The next morning Gwaine awoke first. He quickly remembered where he was and more importantly, with whom. He looked at the boy lying next to him. _I think I will forever be a victim to your charm_. He knew that, despite this brief moment of happiness, the boy would sooner or later cut him into his heart once again, this time even more deeply than before, but he didn't care. All he wanted to do was lie there with the boy.

Suddenly the door flew open and Gwaine grabbed his sword to defend himself and Merlin against whoever it was. Merlin awoke because of the sounds and saw Lancelot staring at them with his mouth open.

Lancelot quickly recovered and looked away. He raised his hand to further cover his eyes. "Put your sword away, Gwaine. Both of them."

Gwaine smirked and started dressing himself while Lancelot closed the door.

Lancelot spoke to them as Merlin started dressing himself as well. "So, you two.. I did not know that." He paused. "I mean, I knew about you, I just didn't know you did..this. I mean I always figured Merlin was a vir-I mean, so I just assumed.."

"I was", Merlin gave him a very unsure smile and blushed. He felt embarrassed, but also partly proud of what he/they had done. Gwaine handed him his pants and he thankfully accepted them as an excuse to cover his face. He slowly put them on.

Lancelot was starting to reach his limit. He was clearly wondering why God had chosen to subject him to this particular afternoon. "Why are you here?" Gwaine asked him. As much as he enjoyed teasing Lancelot about his uptight attitude, this would have been going a little too far.

"Arthur's orders: us more experienced knights should also participate in training the young men who will become knights. It's your turn to help out Oliver."

Lancelot lead them to the area where Oliver handled the basic training for those wanting to become knights.

As they approached her, Oliver waved at them. "Good morning, or should I say good afternoon at this hour. What have you been up to?"

Lancelot shot her a look of warning and Oliver changed the subject. "Aren't they doing marvelously? Actually, forget that. I'll be back", she said before hurrying up to one of the men. "William, anyone within a two mile radius can see that attack coming. You need to figure out a way to conseal your attack so your opponent can't block it as easily. Here, let me show you." She gave the man a quick demonstration of some distraction techniques and told him to practise them. She returned to the trio. "So, Gwaine, ready for your big debut as a teacher?"

Gwaine grunted and went to some of the men further away. He started fighting with one of them, quickly disarming the other man.

Lancelot turned to Oliver. "I think you are spending too much time here. You're never with us at home. Gal misses you."

Oliver smiled. "If you were actually in love with me and not Gwen, I might have more incentive to spend time with you."

Lancelot frowned. He then sighed. He hadn't come to pick a fight with her. "Do you love me, then?"

"That doesn't matter."

"Sure it does. If you love me, I'll love you."

Oliver punched him. He fell to the ground. "Don't joke around."

"You are getting better. You couldn't hit me before." Lancelot smiled widely, despite the blood that was coming from his lower lip.

"Only because I didn't really want to", Oliver told him and left for the training fields, where William was doing Oliver's routines horribly wrong. "William, at least hold the sword right!"

Gwaine came to help Lancelot up. "What was that about?" he asked.

"Lancelot just hit on his wife unsuccessfully for the first of many times to come", Merlin told him.

"Finally decided to give up on Gwen, then?" Gwaine asked and patted Lancelot on his back.

"Something Oliver said just struck a chord with me. I'm willing to try." Lancelot looked at Oliver who was instructing William's teammates to help him. "Though I might invest in some body armor for the next time around."

At the end of the day, Oliver and Arthur's trainés left and Arthur went with them, giving Merlin a rare day off. Lancelot came to see Oliver as she was about to leave.

"Seriously, you are doing quite well. Even though.." He added the last part as if he had already moved on to think about something else.

Oliver, however, caught it nonetheless. "Even though..what?"

"That you still couldn't beat me."

Oliver blinked. She threw him one of the swords. "You take that back."

"You're on your own, buddy", Gwaine shook his head and he and Merlin turned to leave. As they walked further away, Gwaine turned to see Oliver and Lancelot fighting each other with swords. "They are hopeless."

"So are we." Merlin smiled at him. "I love you."

Gwaine raised his eyebrows. "You do?" He had waited for more than a year to hear Merlin utter those beautiful words to him. His terrified, broken heart felt as if it could be mended at that very moment.

"Yes. Very much."

"And you're not just going to leave me again in two days' time, are you?"

"Try and make me." Merlin wrapped his arms around Gwaine and pulled him close. "And you? Do you still love me in spite of everything?"

"Nuh, I think we should see other people", Gwaine joked and ran so Merlin wouldn't catch him. Eventually he did, however, and they collapsed to the ground. They knew they still had issues to work through, but for the time being, those problems could wait.


	19. Author's notes

In the honor of my first finished long story, I'll provide some details of the writing process. I'll also do some self-criticism and see what I could've done better. I'll also explain Oliver and how the character came to be.

This fic actually came very close to ending after the fifth chapter. By then I had made them break up and I saw no hope for the two to actually reconcile (I wouldn't say angst is my specialty, but rather that realism trumps fluff any day). I created Oliver for the sixth chapter. Her original purpose was related to the fact that Arthur's plan of getting the knights hitched would take a more dominant role in the fic. She would have been publically outed in her dubbing ceremony, and Gwaine would have stepped in to save her, saying something along the lines of "I wanna marry her!" They would have run off, leaving Merlin and Camelot behind. Whether they would have engaged in an actual romance is rather irrelevant, as the fic would have ended before that.

What saved the story, in the end, was the fact that I happened to find YT and along with it the many short Merlin/Gwaine videos that exist there now. Through them I found new faith in the pair's reconciliation, which indeed took place in chapter 7.

I'm not particularly fond of Arthur/Merlin, but as it is a big part of the show, I integrated it into this fic by highlighting the differences in the characters' situations and their motivations. Gwaine found it increasingly difficult to be forever second to Merlin's destiny at Arthur's side. I briefly wondered whether I should do a scene where Merlin would choose Arthur over Gwaine when facing a wyvern or something to that effect, but I figured it would have been too on the nose. Letting Gwaine's insecurity develop between the scenes was my choice in stead. In retrospect, had the fourth season been playing at the same time, it would have made more sense to the reader.

To get back to Oliver, once I had created her, I didn't want to kill her off, so I quickly came up with another identity for her. Her fights with Lancelot were an accidental development. Once I retconned her character and her past, she was initially the daughter of king Eldor (completely fictitious, therefore). Chapter 10 originally began with a long dialog between Lancelot and Oliver, but once it had gone on for several pages, I figured it best if I cut it. Firstly, because this fic was supposed to be about M/G, secondly because I thought it better if her past was disclosed more gradually. Also, the original conversation made her look kind of bad. So, the parts about her being the youngest of several other children and therefore being rather irrelevant cosmically were downplayed, but again, I thought the way I did it in the end went better.

Merlin the tv series, as the Arthurian universe in general, doesn't exactly depict women as deep characters. There's good women, bad women and the good-but-oh-so-tempted-women. So, if I wanted a "useful" female character, I had to make one.

I don't remember when exactly I decided that Oliver would be Elaine, but when I did, pieces just seemed to fall into place. Gwaine using magic, Oliver being saved from marriage by none other than Lancelot.. Oliver proved to be a time-consuming but nonetheless a very useful character. I used her to highlight Merlin's jealousy, to reveal his powers and more recently, to get Gwaine to talk about the breakup. Chronologically speaking, originally I only had 17 chapters, then I created chapter 14 as a kind of a filler. I purposely left the relationship of Oliver and Lancy open, since I didn't create her for Lancelot to get some. They had Gal together, who knows what they'll do now :)

When I first wrote chapter 15, I didn't particularly like it, because I felt I was just throwing Lancy and Oliver together like in some rom-com. Now that I re-read it, it has actually grown on me, as it contains some very interesting bits. It also relies on the readers' intelligence and/or googling skills. Also, since I establish in later chapters that despite their forced marriage, they didn't really get together right then and there, I think it's alright.

What I still don't like is the ever-smooth "one year later" that takes place between chapters 15 and 16. I wanted to see Galahad born, yes, and in order for that to happen I would either have to depict Merlin and Gwaine's relationship for another year (No.) or jump to it. Sure, I could've used Merlin's magic to deliver the baby earlier, but considering it's well established in the Arthurian legend that Gal was born in Oliver's father's castle, I couldn't do it.

If I'd had more time, patience and again, more time, this would've been better, of course. I still got to do things I never thought I would. I never thought I'd write Elyan into the story. Arthur and Gwen were similar surprises. I completely ignored Gaius' existence, for that I'm sorry. The ending was quite rushed, but still better than the original, as at least now it has three chapters, when before only two (**that** was rushed! Merlin sees Gwaine for the first time in a year, the same night even, and they sleep together. Character development out of the window _now_!).

Oh, my story _On Christmas eve, a baby was born_ was written weeks after I had created Galahad. In retrospect I only should've published that story after this, but hey, what can you do. It was kind of inspired by this story, but it was mostly just something I threw together.

I enjoyed reading your reviews. Usually they didn't affect the story, especially towards the end when I had already planned most of the things. That said, I must admit that the reviews for chapter 11 were priceless to read. When it's a question of 'Is Gwaine mad at him for having magic?' or is he mad at him for lying to him?', I always choose option c, none of the above. Speaking of chapter 11, some of you might have noticed that originally on ffnet the ending included the words "He did not look happy", which I later erased. I had actually removed them from the document earlier because I figured the expression was too campy, and I have no idea why they showed up on the download. So it was a question of technical difficulties, not because I wanted to build up the suspense.

I noticed a while ago that I officially have the longest Gwaine/Merlin story on Ffnet, perhaps on the internet. Considering Gwaine has only made four appearances in total, I'm not surprised, but I hope when the series returns we can get some more fans. A while ago I read a rather brilliant G/M fic that is not on ffnet, I think you can find it by searching "merlin gwaine green" or something like that. It contains a more upbeat Gwaine, whereas I chose to develop the glances and expressions he has that (to me) signal longing and loneliness (end of 3.08, for example).

Merlin the tv series is kind of a nice series. Too nice. It's like a kid's show with topless men thrown into it. Teasing, but not satisfying. What probably affected me in later chapters (let's say 10-18) was that I stopped watching Merlin's Gwaine episodes and got back to watching Supernatural, and naturally the filthy videos that are now on YT. Even worse, I started reading some very interesting Doctor/Master fics, which were more than a bit twisted. The darker turn and the higher level of angst in the later chapters were no doubt caused by the aforementioned series' tones that influenced me. It's so much easier to go bad than good.

My favorite part of the fic was when Gwaine found out and the awful atmosphere that followed. When Arthur Pendragon notices you have a problem, you have a problem. When Arthur Pendragon makes you make up, you have a problem.

As some of you already now, chapter 13 inspired me to write _Blackmail_. If only Gwaine were a bad person, it would have been so, so sexy. Unfortunately, he isn't. Still, it was pretty canon what he was up to, taking into account his conversation with Merlin in 3.12.

Writing this came rather naturally. In _the CooperCheesecake Conundrum_ I usually had to draw a structure for the chapter and writing was often difficult and in the end I stumbled on my own cleverness with the plotting. In this one I just sat in front of the computer and started writing. The problems came from the fact that, after writing several chapters in a row, I realized that some scenes would work better later and so I actually did some copy-pasting with a lot of the chapters. It's a small miracle it turned out as well as it did. It felt like editing an actual tv series. I have a lot of scenes I ended up not using.

I wish I knew how to write fluff, I think it would be better for me. Though, as it is, fluff irks me. Sure, be happy, but only after the problems are dealt with. All in all, I'm sorry this didn't include as many G/M happy!scenes as one would have hoped.

I think I said more or less what I wanted to. Drop me a line to say what you thought of the last chapters. I uploaded them all at once as I didn't see a reason to withold them too long (I have no patience). It's been fun writing this, and it was nice that so many people read it and commented on it. Hope you all had a nice Christmas and I wish you all a happy year 2011!


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